As Halloween approaches I’ve noticed a proliferation of churches doing “harvest festivals” and “trunk or treats.” Lutherans are even getting into the act with “Reformation Parties.” (Up for a game of pin the 95 Theses on the church door? Yeah, baby!) These are all supposedly well-intentioned attempts to give people a godly alternative to the pagan holiday of Halloween, though some would argue it’s just a way to celebrate Halloween without calling it Halloween.
Of course you’re probably aware that Christmas is not Jesus’ actual birthday either. It was originally a pagan festival to celebrate the winter solstice. Since the church couldn’t get pagans who converted to Christianity to give up the celebration, they co-opted it and made it a Christian holiday.
With all the success Christians have had at taking over those two holidays for the Lord (yes, that’s sarcasm), I started dreaming… what other pagan holidays could Christian co-opt and came up with…
The Top 5 Pagan Holidays Ripe for a Christian Takeover
1) Valentines Day
The pagan holiday of Valentines Day makes an idol out of romance and human love. As Christians we need to show the world that only God’s love is worthy of celebration. That’s why we need to replace Valentines day with God is Love Day. We can keep the red theme and the heart-shaped balloons (just put Jesus face on them). Even the Sweethearts Conversation candies are good because if you think about it they could apply to God too – Be Mine (Lord). And as long as we’re going for things that could refer to God or human love, God is Love Day parties would be a great opportunity to bust out some Christian ballads – you know the ones that are about the singer’s love for God but they’ve been made to sound like they’re about a woman so they can have crossover success on secular radio stations. (e.g. Honestly by Stryper)
2) President’s Day
Scripture tells us we’re not supposed to bow down to any earthly rulers. Everyone knows that from the story about those 3 guys that got thrown in the fiery furnace, right? So, President’s Day is definitely out. What could replace it? How about King of Kings Day? Maybe we could even sculpt a huge monument like Mount Rushmore, but put the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit on it. There’s real tourism/gift shop potential there.
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3) The Great Smoke Out
To the theological novice The Great Smoke Out may seem like a good holiday, after all, smoking destroys the temple of the Holy Spirit (to the heathens out there I’m referring to your body). But all this focus health and living a long life is just another idol. Our earthly bodies are irrelevant. Let’s put the focus on something more spiritual by ignoring The Great Smoke Out and celebrating Burning Bush Day instead. Instead of lighting up a cigarette, we can light up our yard waste and recount the stories of Moses and the Israelites around the fire. (This has the added benefit of acting like a prescribed burn so it would help prevent large forest fires). Hard core churches could re-enact the crossing of the Red Sea and even the 10 plagues.
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4) Fathers Day
This is an easy target because nobody really likes to celebrate this Hallmark-created holiday anyway. Dads be honest, do you really want to unwrap another necktie? Wouldn’t you rather put your feet up and watch the final round of the U.S. Open in your man cave? The fact that Father’s Day is always on a Sunday makes it an easy target too, because people are already at church. We just need to start referring to it as “Our Fathers Day” to put the focus on God. The theme of course would be the Lord’s Prayer (to the heathens reading this, that’s because the Lord’s Prayer starts with “Our Father, who art in heaven…”). This has great revenue potential, because Lord’s Prayer merchandise is some of the most popular in the Christian market. This is a great opportunity to take money out of the hands of the greedy corporate greeting card companies, and put it into the hands of the Christian bookstore shareholders.
5) Arbor Day
A day celebrating trees clearly puts us on a slippery slope towards Gaia, the pagan worship of “Mother Earth.” So, let’s establish Cross Day on the same day. After all, scripture refers to Jesus being hung on a tree. Churches that want to stay “culturally relevant” can still plant trees with the understanding that when they grow up they will get cut down to make crosses. Hard core churches can just plant crosses in people’s front yards, though they might want to avoid celebrating Burning Bush Day on the same day.
Once these Christian holidays start to gain in popularity, we will be on our way to taking back our holidays and our country for God!
Which one do you want to start with? What other holidays could we take over?
47 Comments
That pic of “Jesus” is paramount to blasphemy. The sort of pic that I would expect a mocker of Christianity to post and sneer over. I didn’t appreciate it landing in my inbox.
Maybe it’s time for you to have a break.
Cilla, thanks for your comment. If you consider the image of Jesus handing out candy to be “paramount to blasphemy” what do you think about the Bride of Christ handing out candy on Halloween?
JESUS desires every day……small minds think small thoughts
Paul,
That image is disgusting. I’m surprised you haven’t received more complaints and I’m saddened to see it is still there.
When children call at my door I cannot see how I am dishonouring the Lord by giving them sweets or a few pennies. I normally find a pencil or rubber bearing a bible verse, or children’s tract as well to go in their tin or whatever they are carrying. It is harmless fun to them. They are not out to be evil or use black magic. Didn’t the Lord Jesus say in Mark 10 “Let the little children come to Me, and do not hinder them,”…..
I cannot see how a Christian can be accused of celebrating Hallowe’en by being friendly to children. But I can see how Jesus would be grieved to see that picture.
Cilla.
I agree with Mr. Steinbruecks concern. I avoid pagan holidays incorporated by the early church as much as possible. I understand our need to witness to people in the world they live in with care not to become a part of it ourselves. If I understand correctly there was a debate among early Lutherans and Calvinists during the Reformation as to whether we are to reject traditions that are not specifically commanded in Scripture or only to reject that which is specifically contrary to Scripture. Although I would generally side with the Puritan point of view I must also consider
Romans 14:5
One person regards one day above another, another regards every day alike. Each person must be fully convinced in his own mind.
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Love the reminder not to celebrate Arbor Day the same day as Burning Bush Day! LOL
Actually, isn't Valentine's Day, SAINT Valentine? Technically we could easily take that one over!
My kids are 21 and 17 and we always did Hallelujah Night at church. (2500 member congregation, so it worked well. Played games, got candy, won prizes, altar call.) When they got older and we switched them from Christian school to public school they ended up trick-or-treating for a few years. Honestly, to do it over, I would not have 'freaked' out as much as I did about the holiday. I absolutely hate Halloween, but really, I don't think we needed to be as strict as we were. They understood the origin of it and were strong in their faith in Jesus and enjoyed time with their friends.
Now we hand out candy at the door and the little kids in their costumes are adorable…or at least creative!
Great post! 🙂
After reading all the posts on this topic of Halloween, I have to first off, commend those few who are sticking to the truth, despite those who disagree, and am praying for those who are standing in the gap, and taking up their cross to follow the truth of Jesus Christ.
I am coming from a life of huge idolatry, Halloween celebrations, and so much more, and have separated myself from several churches who on the outside look very Godly, and Holy, but in reality were going along with most of the apostate churches around the world.
I followed the opinions of men, and women, over the pure truth of scripture, and wondered why I was so confused all the time, and wishy washy over the truth.
Surely, the pastors were correct! Or my good friends were correct, but this wasn’t so.
Yes we must separate from the masses in this apostate world, and seek the truth apart from the opinions of men.
Those who stand for the pure truth of the Gospel will not be popular as Jesus has told us many times, that if they hated me they will hate you also.
And when we stand for the truth, about the evils of Halloween, and the pagan holidays such as Xmas, and Easter, and take a stand against them, we will be mocked, and even hated, and the reason I say this is because it is happening to me.
The more I draw closer to Christ, and His truth, the more distant I feel in the world, and as true believers we should hate that which is evil, and expose it, and bring it into the light, where it can be seen for what it really is, a lie of satan to deceive the world and the elect, which is the church.
I live a quiet life, alone now, as most so called Christians disagree with the truth as I present it,and see nothing wrong with celebrating Halloween in a safe manner by calling it by a Christian theme, but I see no way we can take what is dark and call it light.
Bottom line on this is that we as true believers are called to be SEPERATE FROM THE WORLD, TO BE HOLY, AND PURE, in a very dark and perverse world!
We must rightly divide the word of God, and seek to emulate Christ in all we do, as a lost and dying world is watching us.
I am learning so much every day, and the LORD has been so very patient and long suffering with me, and all my failures.
I encourage all of you to abstain from all forms of evil, and know that which man highly esteems is an abomination to our Lord, so we must come out from the world, and its pagan holidays, and stop offending our creator, and learn to follow Him alone in humble obedience, not out of works or earning His love, but out of our love, for Him and what He did for us on the cross.
This Halloween I was at home, praying for the world, and praying against the evil night, which no Christian who is truly following Jesus Christ in spirit and truth should have anything to do with it.
I don’t expect to be popular, especially when I stand AGAINST all that the Lord calls an abomination in His site.
My life was filled with many abominations, and the more I read His truth, and believe me, my free time is dedicated to this, plus sharing the Gospel of John, and Christ with the lost where the Lord leads.
May our Lord and savior be praised forever and ever, and may we be separated unto Him, by following Him, and Him alone apart from the worlds celebrations, parties, and liberal practices, and remember WE are not of this world, we and OF the kingdom of God, just passing through on our way to glory and peace, and eternity with our creator and Lord!
So we must put aside that which the world highly esteems, and all its evil traditions, and be a separate and peculiar people.
I am praying for you all that are standing in the gap, and walking the narrow path that leads to life, I am praying to meet a few who would accept me as their brother, as we serve our Lord in spirit and truth.
May the love of Christ fill you completely.
Love in Christ,
Tommy