Last Friday, we asked the question, “Should you unfriend your spouse on Facebook?” According to this article in the Pioneer Press, one pastor in New Jersey thinks you should not only unfriend your spouse, but delete your Facebook account entirely.
Rev. Cedric Miller of Living Word Christian Fellowship Church in Neptune, NJ has ordered 50 married church leaders to delete their Facebook accounts or resign from their leadership positions.
Why?
He says it’s because 20 couples among the 1,100 members of the church have run into marital trouble over the last six months after a spouse connected with an ex-flame over Facebook.
“I’ve been in extended counseling with couples with marital problems because of Facebook for the last year and a half,” he said. “What happens is someone from yesterday surfaces, it leads to conversations and there have been physical meet-ups. The temptation is just too great.”
When I first saw the headline, I’ll be honest, my inclination was to mock the pastor for overreacting. But 20 families harmed through relationships initiated through Facebook – that’s a big deal. At the very least, I think we need to acknowledge that Facebook can lead to inappropriate relationships. That’s a very real danger. Agree or disagree?
If you agree, then what’s the best way to protect against that danger?
One option, which Rev. Miller tried earlier was to ask all married couples to give each other the passwords to their Facebook accounts.
Do you have other suggestions? Or do you agree with Rev Miller that all married people should avoid Facebook?
24 Comments
As a pastor I applaud Rev. Miller. I too have seen the distraction and the absolute wasting of valuable ministry time because of facebook. It is just another tool of the devil to infiltrate the body of Christ and he is doing a good job. Think about how much of a distraction this is from family, and jobs. I had a staff member that spent so much time on facebook that he and his wife hardly ever spoke and they knew more about other people in the church than they did about themselves. Be careful. Your adversary the devil seeketh whom he may devour.
@ David Jones
"…but the fruit of the Spirit is: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, FAITHFULNESS, gentleness, and SELF-CONTROL."
Gal. 5:22-23
David what would you call your commenting on this blog? Would that not also meet your definition of " wasting of valuable ministry time"? Not sure, but I think there might be a slight double-standard. Not making an accusation, but just pointing out that I can remember people saying that the internet was also "just another tool of the devil to infiltrate the body of Christ". And before that it was computers. So, I don't buy this argument. Train people to be productive and they will be. Train them to make good, Christ-centered, choices and, by-and-large, they will. Sin is always an issue, but continuous proclamation of the Gospel and the Lordship of Christ is our best tool against the wiles of the devil. not legalistic bans on the internet. People will always develop new ways to sin.
"20 couples among the 1,100 members of the church have run into marital trouble over the last six months after a spouse connected with an ex-flame over Facebook." I'm just wondering how many couples had marital trouble in the last 6 months not related to Facebook? Would it be naive to assume a number greater than zero… and maybe even greater than 20?
At least I hope Rev Miller is consistent and ban other forms of communication as well. I would of course suggest that none of the families may have telephones… surely a fair portion of people has marital problems in the past because of such evils such as phone sex? or phoning a "friend"…
Facebook (or whatever technology we choose) is just the conduit, not the problem. Does it make it easier? Sure! but it also makes it easier to do good…
Which causes us to wonder, surely the reverend knew the risks of possibly being found out, especially in lieu of his very public stance against Facebook and a barrage of eager journalist sleuths who were probably listening with one ear intrigue and the other very careful scrutiny. In the end has chosen to resign, but the question remains, how out of touch is the church with human inclinations, despite best intentions and the moral guidance it seeks to affect? Who will light a candle for the Reverend now?
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