25 Ways @BritneySpears @BarackObama @RickWarren Expose Terrorists who Caused #GulfOilSpill, Take Ur Blog Viral w #iPhone

Everyone with a blog wants to make it big.  They want to write that post that will go viral, become an Internet sensation, and make them an a-list blogger.

I have done extensive research on blog posts that have gone viral.  That research has revealed the secrets… secrets which I will reveal to you here.

Furthermore, because Christian Web Trends is written for a Christian audience.  I’m will go even deeper and reveal the hidden secrets to getting a post to go viral within the Christian blogosphere.

Let’s start with…

10 Secrets to Going Viral in the General Blogosphere

1) Make your post a list.

2) Start the title of your post with a number. Like, oh I don’t know… 25.

3) Include gossip about Britney Spears. No one can resist reading and sharing a post about Britney.

4) Write about Barack Obama. He’s the most polarizing person in the world.  People either love him or hate him and both camps will read a post in the hopes that it will justify their feelings towards the president.

5) Scare people with terrorism. There’s nothing like a little fear to get people’s attention, right?

6) Include a conspiracy theory. Personally, I would never stoop that low.  After all it’s a known fact that terrorists caused the Gulf oil spill, but if you’ve got a new theory for the Kennedy Assassination or 911, that’s got viral written all over it.

7) Write about a controversial current event. A devastating earthquake, flood, or oil spill will do.

8 ) Expose something. A secret, a nipple, whatever…

9) Write about the iPhone. Steve Jobs told me over coffee that Apple preprogrammed them to automatically import and share all articles about iPhones.

10) Use Twitter hashtags. They will make the post look hip & people will share it because they think it makes them look cool too. #IAmHashtagMan

Now, I’ll let you in on…

15 More Secrets to Going Viral in the Christian Blogosphere

11) Bash megachurches. Some people can’t resist an opportunity to rant about megachurches.  All you have to say is something like “Megachurches are superficial and theologically weak.” or  “Megachurches are preaching a psychotherapy, prosperity gospel.” Or cite a news story about a megachurch or its pastor making a mistake and they are all over the comments like buzzards on roadkill.

12) Use cynical humor. By doing this a) people who dislike megachurches will get riled up because they think you’re criticizing megachurche, b) people in megachurches will get giddy because they’ll think you’re making fun of the people who dislike megachurches, c) if anything really bad happens you can say you were just joking.  It’s a total win-win-win!

13) Mention a famous Christian like Rick Warren or Andy Stanley.

14) Mention as many as you can. Bill Hybels, Joel Osteen, Craig Groeschel, Rob Bell, Pete Wilson, and Mark Driscoll are all good candidates.

15) Be sure to put at least one in the post title.

16) If they’re pastors of megachurches that’s even better because it will help get the attention of the thousands of people in those churches.

17) And if they’re on Twitter, that’s like hitting the Powerball ‘cause maybe they’ll see the tweets and respond.

18) Include images of those famous Christian megachurch pastor twitterers in the post.

19) Reference something sexy but not over the line, like a church partnering with Hooters for hurricane relief or a church doing a 30 day sex challenge or Brittany Spears and an oil spill.

20) Add some statistics from George Barna to give your post some credibility. This is key because according to Barna 85% of blogs are declining or have plateaued.  And of the 15% that are growing, 97% of that growth is transfer growth from other blogs.

21) Insult an ethnic group that that makes up at least 25% of the world’s population. That will get bloggers of that ethnic group to write about your site repeatedly for several weeks.  You may be forced to shut down your site, but don’t worry you can always launch a new site about forgiveness and second chances.

22) Throw in a hilarious YouTube video that may or may not be relevant to the rest of the post. People falling down or being hit in the genitals are always popular.

23) Email it to all your contacts. Make sure you start your email with something like, “I never forward messages like this, but…”

24) Schmooze Todd Rhoades and ask him to post it on MMI. (BTW, I can get Bono on The Show next Tuesday if you like. DM me.)

25) Oh, and end your post with a question asking for reader’s opinions…

What do you think?  What other secrets have you discovered to getting a blog post to go viral?