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Struggles and Joys, and other poems
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Every day of my life is a struggle,
from the time I get up, till I lie down at night,
and even my dreams are usually invaded
by monsters and bad guys, and they don't end all right.
But my Saviour helps me bear the pain of the moment
and He will help me through the rest of the day.
Yesterday's agony has become today's lesson
and my future is bright, if with Jesus I stay!
God is showing me great ways to serve Him
and I know that these plans will become reality at length,
for the Lord is using me in spite of myself
and He is able to turn all my weakness to strength.
My painful past helps me understand others
and hearing my story often gives them great hope,
because when they see me joyful and laughing,
they believe that Jesus can show them also to cope.
Lord, thank you so much for the blessing of music,
I often don't know what without it I'd do,
and I'm grateful that it is what you're using
to help me reach sinners to come unto you!
So, even if you choose not to heal my body
and the rest of my days in pain I will spend,
if you allow me to have a ministry in music,
dear Lord, you know that I'll be more than content!
Ursula Stouffer, May 27th, 2002
Lectures
I don't like being lectured,
so everyone please take note:
If I want to hear a sermon,
on Sunday to church I'll go!
Don't preach to me for hours
on what you'd have me do,
and I already know that I'm not perfect,
I wonder: Do you know that about you?
And if you expect me to do more,
how do you know I can?
Only Jesus knows these things
of every woman and every man.
Only He can look inside me,
only He can know my thoughts,
He loves me even in my weakness
and with His blood I have been bought.
Jesus never pushes me
when He tells me what to do,
He does it gently and in love,
and I wished that you would, too!
And quoting the Bible to make your point
results only in making me sad,
that's not what the Lord intended,
for the Scriptures should make me glad.
Whenever God wants me disciplined,
He knows how to get the message to me,
He and I will work things out,
so, please, just let us be!
Ursula Stouffer, May 28th, 2002
Someone to talk to
Nobody here cares what I'm thinking,
my true feelings I must often hide,
and if I wouldn't have Jesus to talk to
I'd have to keep it all inside.
Often I feel so very alone
when surrounded by my family,
as they don't really understand my thoughts
and they don't appreciate the real "me".
Most of my friends don't have much time,
as busy lives they lead,
and I can't expect them to always be there
when someone to talk to I need.
Many tears I have cried in secret
and many more have gone unshed,
but I know that Jesus knows my pain
and that He holds me when I'm sad.
He cares when I'm drowning in sorrow,
when life becomes too hard to bear,
when loneliness wants to overtake me
I remember that He's always there.
I don't have to write Him a letter,
an e-mail I don't need to send,
I can always instantly reach Him
when time in prayer I spend.
His line is never busy,
I can call Him night and day,
whenever I need to share my heart
all I need to do is pray.
Thank you, Lord, for all your love
and for always listening to me,
you will be my comfort till I come Home,
when your shining face I see.
Ursula Stouffer, June 4th, 2002
Memories
I love it when friends share their happy memories
of perfect childhoods with carefree days,
and of parents who accepted them for who they were,
showing their unconditional love in so many ways.
Parents who'd go sledding with their children,
instead of sending them off by themselves in the dark,
Moms who'd love to cook their favourite meals
and Dad playing ball with them in the neighbourhood park.
Lives where children were allowed to be little
and parents were there to look after them,
where ten-year-olds weren't doing all the cooking and mending
and Mother herself would let out sister's hem.
I enjoy hearing stories of normal childhoods,
where not just boys were allowed to play,
where hugs and kisses were always abundant
and "I love you" was a frequent thing for Mom to say.
I wonder what it's like to have a mother who loves you,
who in all your everyday joys and sorrows shares,
whom you can trust with all of your secrets,
and to have a father who actually cares.
Taking a look into my own childhood memories
usually just results in making me sad,
so, please, let me walk down memory lane with you,
for hearing you were cherished makes me very glad.
And I hope that some day when my kids are older,
they'll have happier memories than did their mom,
not because I'm a better person than my mother,
but because I've had help from Jesus, God's only son.
And He's helping me make better memories now,
so that when I get old I can look fondly back,
finding that under His care and guidance
love, joy and compassion I never did lack.
Ursula Stouffer, June 9th, 2002
Despair
Tears of sorrow ever roll,
Despair has gripped her very soul.
Life gets darker every day
While help seems very far away.
The ache inside is always there,
As is the constant nagging fear.
Will his rage erupt again today?
Will she manage to stay out of his way?
He constantly demands kisses and confessions of love
While criticizing her every move.
She better become more like him, he'll say,
Since he is perfect in every way!
He would have made the Pharisees proud,
He'd have fit in perfectly with their crowd,
Quoting the bible all day long,
Rules and regulations make him feel strong.
You ought to submit He'll say to his wife,
Otherwise you aren't living a Christian life!
Suppressing those weaker than him is cool,
And you better not dare suggest he is cruel!
He says, it's her own fault that she is ill,
For if only she'd submit herself to God's will
And rejoice in her sufferings all day long
She'd soon find herself healthy and strong.
You hypocrite! Can't you see it is true
That most of her suffering is caused by you?
It would help if love and compassion you'd try
Instead of repeating Satan's lies!
And teenagers will attack their mothers, it's true,
That's why she needs to be protected by you;
But instead you join them in harassing your wife,
Making her hate every day of her life.
Oh Jesus, please protect her soul and her mind
And help her love and forgiveness to find.
She needs you, please let her know you are there
And help her, her heavy burdens to bear.
Her faith is weakening, please help her grow,
And despite persecution let her know
That you love her just the way she's today
And that always by her side you will stay.
Ursula Stouffer, Aug. 6th, 2003
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