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Michael's Journey Part 2
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August 30, 2004
Well, today was a VERY eventful day! Yesterday the fuel pump went out on our van for the 5th time! Mickey decided that maybe it was time to break down and look at a different vehicle so he got up early and went to the car dealership to look at a new van. Now really isn’t a good time for car shopping but God will provide. Michael slept until a little later until around 9:30 a.m. so Tammy told him to jump into the shower to get ready to go to his clinic appointment scheduled for later in the day. When Michael got out of the shower, Mickey was driving in with our new 2005 Chrysler mini van! It is black with gray interior and boy does it look sharp! With the extra discounts available we were able to get it about $7000 cheaper than we had originally thought. God has taken special care of us so far, and we know that he is able to provide the finances it will take to pay for this vehicle so we are not going to try to sweat it too much. The van is very comfortable and will make it nice to take Michael back and forth to his appointments.
Our clinic appointment was at 1:30 p.m. and we were to see Michael’s “main” oncology doctor today. Of course, the boys had to try out every gadget on the van they could find on our way to the appointment. They thought it was really funny to sound the panic alarm in the parking garage. ~grin~ Mom was slightly embarrassed but she’s getting used to it; after all, she lives with 1 husband and 2 boys that are into everything !!!
They checked Michael’s counts and they were up from last week and he has also gained 2 pounds. Dr. Wilkinson said that Michael is amazing. She said that 9 out of 10 children who undergo the intense radiation that Michael has gone thru end up with tremendous mouth sores and a lot of trouble swallowing. The only discomfort Michael has is the mucous in his mouth and much of that could be avoided if he would drink more water. The doctor made sure that Michael understood this and we are hoping that he will take the advise and drink more water. She also said she couldn’t feel even a lymph node in his neck and all she really could feel was scar tissue from the biopsy scars !! She is overjoyed with his progress and commented that Michael is NOT reading her rule book and going by it! More proof that we serve a God that is still in the healing business !! Michael is a tough cookie and he refuses to let this get him down. We are at week 9 in his protocol and we will be doing scans around week 12 to see where the tumor is at. She told us that Michael’s scans will never look “normal” because of the extent of the tumor and the scar tissue that would be left. Then she commented that Michael is refusing to go by the medical books, so there is always that possibility that scans will look normal! Praise The Lord !!! We told her that we have been doing a lot of praying and she told us to keep it up, because that is what seems to be working for him. Basically there is no medical explanation as to why Michael is doing so well. Some may say that it is just the great technology or medicines that are available, but we know who is ultimately in control of this situation, and we will continue to give God honor and glory for the work that has been accomplished in Michael’s life, both physically and spiritually. We serve a risen Saviour that is bigger than any medical procedure !!!
So what about the chemo treatment that he should have had today? Well, the hospital didn’t have any beds available so we have to check back tomorrow to see if any are available. We have an appointment with Dr. Norman, ophthalmologist, at 10:00 a.m. and hopefully we will be able to go on over to the hospital tomorrow to get his treatment.
We know that prayer is the key to Michael’s healing. EVERYONE PLEASE KEEP PRAYING. Please pray for Michael, our family, the doctors & nurses and for everyone that we come in contact with to feel God’s power in their life.
August 31, 2004
We went to see the ophthalmologist this morning and he gave Michael a good report. He told us that his vision is 20/20 and everything is looking really good. The problem that Michael is having is due to the intensive radiation that he received to the eye area. This is causing his eyes to stay dry and irritated. We have antibiotic gels and drops to keep his eyes lubricated until we see the doctor next month.
We went to Ron's Deli across from the hospital to eat lunch and wait for a room to open up. We finally got into a room around 2:30 p.m. or 3:00 p.m. and they didn't get Michael's chemo treatment started until 8:00 p.m.! What a long exhausting day just waiting and Michael was getting really tired. The waiting part wears a person out more than the actually stay. Later that night, Michael's favorite nurse, Claudia, came in to visit with him. She was not assigned to him that evening, but she was able to take a short break to spend some time with him. Michael was really glad that she came by to talk with him and it kinda perked him up a little. Around 4:30 a.m. Michael did get sick, which is expected, but we were thankful that it was just the one time and not an all night thing.
September 1, 2004
Michael didn't get up until around 9:00 a.m. which was alright because he needed his rest. We saw the Dr. around 10:30 a.m. but she got called away and didn't get a chance to write our orders so we had to wait until she got back. Michael was released around 1:30 p.m. or 2:00 p.m. and then we had to stop by Cook Home Health to pick up his medical supplies. We arrived home around 4:00 p.m. totally exhausted. Michael went back to bed and slept until 6:30 p.m. He still is a little sick to his stomach, but not anything really bad.
At 7:00 p.m. the volunteers from Make-A-Wish came out to talk with Michael about what his wish would be if he could do anything he wanted. His first wish was to go to a Florida beach and his second wish was to sing with Gold City (southern gospel group). They also brought out a big bunch of balloons; T-shirts for both boys; a cap and art supplies for Michael; and a John Deere book for Justin. Oh yes, they also brought candy for both boys and a Make-A-Wish bag. Michael enjoyed his evening talking with both volunteers and is looking forward to find out if his wish will be granted. Both of the boys enjoyed their gifts and we are not sure, but we think Justin slept with his John Deere book! ~grin~
Michael had a pretty good nights sleep, but he did get sick a couple of times thru the night, but once again, we are thankful because it could have been a whole lot worse.
Continue to pray for Michael that he will begin to eat. It is not that he can't, it is just that he won't. The doctors are wanting him to get off of the feeding tube during the day and start eating more by mouth, but Michael says that everything tastes rotten to him. So, we continue to try to encourage him to try different things, but so far nothing is working.
September 7, 2004
Michael went to the H/O Clinic today for his weekly chemo dosage. He has been feeling run down and has had several bouts with nausea & vomiting this past week. After checking his blood counts they gave him his chemo but also stated his platelets were extremely low. All the other blood counts seemed to OK for now. They sent us all to lunch and ordered platelets for Michael. Michael got very tired at lunch. When we returned they gave Michael some fluids and the platelets. He was showing a low grade fever so they decided to admit him to the hospital for further observation to see if he has infection of any kind. We got a room by 5:00 pm. He is very tired but resting comfortably. As soon as we know more about what they find in his blood work we'll update the website. He is currently in Cook Children's Hospital in Room 3005.
September 8, 2004
Michael did not sleep well thru the night and was up about every hour vomiting. This morning the nurse practioner came in to see him and she ordered some blood work and a sonogram. While going down to get the sonogram done, we ran into Dr. Wilkinson. She found us downstairs in the sonogram room and told us she was concerned with his color. Michael was looking very pale and was complaining of pain in his lower abdomen. The sonogram showed that his liver was enlarged. She gave us a name for the disease which Michael has, but basically it is not allowing him to keep the platelets that they have been giving him and also the liver is not allowing the blood to flow properly. Fluids are beginning to build on his stomach and so they have decided to move him into PICU. At this time, they are trying to put in a main line in his groin area which is risky because his blood is not clotting due to the low platelets. They are giving him platelets continuously to try to reduce the risk of bleeding. PLEASE PRAY!!! The Dr.'s are very, very worried about him at this time and so are we.
Michael is in room 22 of the PICU
September 9, 2004
Words cannot explain the emotions that we are feeling right now so I am not even going to try.....
Michael is sedated with morphine and they will continue to keep him this way so he will rest comfortably. They may even put him on a drip so he stays resting. Michael's disease is known as Veno Occlusive Disease (VOD). It is almost always fatal in Bone Marrow transplant patients, but that is not the case with chemo patients. Michael has a much greater chance of recovering from this and so we are believing that God has this all in His control.
Grandma Mary Jane flew in this a.m. and so she will be taking care of Justin for a few days. Only two people are allowed in Michael's room at a time and that includes overnight as well.
Michael is received platelets around the clock and we are unsure as to how many pints of blood that he has received. His platelets are now at least registering on the scale and his blood count is up which is good news, but his liver count is rising which is not so good news. The Dr. explained that this could all get much worse before it starts to get better.
Limited internet access is available in the PICU waiting room so we will try to keep everyone updated as well as possible.
The phone in our room does not ring, only blinks. It is possible to miss calls coming in. Also, cell phones are not allowed, so if you need to get a hold of us, just call on the cell phone and leave a message or you can try dialing the room number to see if we will answer.
September 10, 2004
We feel that we are wading thru some very deep water right now.
Michael is unresponsive and the Dr.'s feel that he is slipping into a coma due to the medication. He also has fluid on his lungs and are doing a sonogram at this moment to try to find out where and the amount of fluid. All of this will determine the next step. The doctors are pretty confident that he will be on a ventilator so he can breathe easier. Michael's hemoglobin is up to 10 which is good and his platelets are around 49 but should be somewhere between 300 & 400. When we got here his platelets were at 5 which means he really had no way to stop bleeding if it should start. (Platelets are what causes your blood to clot). The doctors still feel that Michael has a chance of pulling out of this so they are continuing to do all that they can. We just keep praying, but most of all we want God's will to be done and made perfect.
September 10, 2004
The doctors put a ventilator on Michael this afternoon to help him breathe easier. Because his mouth and throat are dry it has caused some bleeding thru the nose and mouth. Tonight they have decided to stop the blood thinners that are helping his liver, in order to try to get the blood to clot and dry up. When they get this accomplished then they will go in thru his ribs on his left side to relieve the fluid that is there. They cannot do this procedure until they are sure he is not bleeding elsewhere because they don't want him to lose any more blood than he has to and his counts are on the rise. His platelets are running around 70 - 80 right now and his hemoglobin is still up around 10 which is good. We are thankful that none of the bleeding is going down into his lungs. They continue to suction out what is in there but hardly anything comes up, so this is good! Michael is still very critical and is unconscious due to the medications they have him on. The liver is still very ill and so far we are not seeing any signs of improvements, but the doctors have said it could be weeks before they can tell whether he is improving. Continue to pray for us.
September 11, 2004
I cannot even count the number of units of platelets that Michael has received and the bank here at the hospital is running low. If you would like to donate blood, please contact either Cook Children's Medical Center or Carter Blood and donate in Michael's name.
His nurse this morning said that she thinks she is going to start giving blood because now she sees how important it really is. She cannot believe how much he has used. Please don't feel pressured to donate, but if you would like to do this, I know Michael would benefit greatly.
Michael did well last night but we still face complications. Bleeding from nose and mouth still seem to be a problem due to the ventilator tube. He is swelling so they are going to try a lasiks drip. The bolus was not working are only other alternative is a dialysis. The problem with this is putting the catheter into a large vein and so we are in danger of bleeding. Right now they are going to try to get the blot to clot, but that runs into problems with the liver, so..... let's pray that the drip will work and this will relieve the swelling in his body and allow his kidneys to get back working properly.
It seems that once you catch one rabbit, two more get away. We are just taking things one step at a time and praying for many small miracles that will add to one big miracle.
September 12, 2004
Last night we got word that Michael's platelet counts were up to 105 and this morning they are up to 113 which means we are making some slow progress. The amount of platelets he is getting compared to what his counts actually are is not very good, but... at least he is hanging on to them and the counts are rising. We are pretty confident that he will be on dialysis sometime today. The nurse this morning told us they would have done this several days ago, but because of the bleeding it has just been too risky. She said they can probably apply enough pressure that they can control the bleeding that will occur. Michael's clotting time is still elevated and they would like to see that reduced also, so they will give him a bolus of Fresh Frozen Plasma at the time of the surgery to try to help with bleeding also.
When you see Michael laying there lifeless, it is hard to imagine that their is a possibility we could pull thru this. Yesterday one of the Oncology doctors told our nurse that he saw a child many years ago that had the same thing going on and he pulled thru it. The child was on a ventilator for 5 weeks and dialysis for 2 weeks before he got better, so I guess this gives us some hope, but ultimately it will be God's decision whether Michael will remain here with us, or go home to be with Him.
Yesterday a little 5 year old boy that was next door to us went home to be with Jesus. It was hard to stand at watch this families grief knowing that this could be us. We don't know what the next moment holds for us, but we know that God is holding our hand and He will lead us thru these stormy waters.
Continue to pray that God will minister to Michael's spirit and body.
September 12, 2004
Today was a very hard fought spiritual and physical battle. The doctors were trying to determine when and how to put Michael on kidney dialysis to prevent his kidneys from failing and to help remove the fluid that his body is retaining. He has gained 22 lbs in 4 days. He has been receiving whole blood and platelets around the clock and has already taken in 4 units of whole blood and 26 units of platelets since Tuesday afternoon to help the liver and .to replace his blood loss. Michael’s blood will not clot so he has been bleeding continuously in the mouth and nose from the breathing tube they placed in him on Thursday. The doctors finally decided to perform surgery on him this afternoon to insert a line into one of his veins to connect the dialysis machine to. It was to be placed in the right side of his neck. We were told that if he started bleeding while in surgery that there was very little chance they could stop it and he would bleed to death within minutes. We have prayed all day that God would protect him while in surgery. Several friends arrived to visit immediately prior to Michael being taken into surgery and we stayed in the hospital chapel to pray during the time he was in the operating room. After a time of prayer there was a peace that came over the chapel and we felt God’s presence that assured us that HE is definitely in control. After approx. 50 minutes in surgery they came to tell us that Michael did so well that they also put in an additional access line should the need to use it arise later on. The surgeon explained that a special blood clotting drug was used just prior to going into surgery and that Michael only bled about a teaspoon of blood. The Bible says that there is life in the blood. We received confirmation of this fact today.
Within 1 hour of starting the dialysis, Michael has already drained approximately 1 quart of fluid from his swollen body. He is resting very comfortably and is being very closely monitored.
There is probably much more that I’m forgetting because we are very exhausted after today. Tammy usually updates the website but I occasional try to get in my thoughts now and then.
While this is definitely a physical battle for Michael’s body, we know that it is a spiritual battle for us against Satan who seeks to destroy those who believe in Jesus Christ as their Saviour. The Devil knows that we are most sensitive and protective of our children so that is where he is trying his hardest to defeat us. We shall overcome through the power of God in our lives.
Please continue to pray for Michael’s recovery and our strength. God WILL bring us through this trial and we WILL be stronger in our walk with Him because of it. Praise the Lord for a beautiful day in which to serve Him !!!!!!
September 13, 2004
Today has been a very emotional day. Michael condition has been fairly calm and pretty uneventful, but some circumstances and decisions happened today that jarred us. We immediately called the oncology clinic and received reassurance from the wonderful staff of doctors. Dr. Murray came by and explained everything and then it all made sense. I know that this may not make sense to anybody reading this, but this is all I can elaborate on the subject. It does not have anything to do with Michael's condition; but with his care and how it was given.
Anyway, Michael's platelets are continuing to climb and he was on the dialysis machine until 6 a.m. It quit because of a clot. They finally got it going again later in the afternoon. This amazing machine is very delicate and is easily thrown off line. It has to be monitored very closely. The doctors are very pleased at how well everything is going.
We have been here for a week now and I have not gone home or even left this building so everyone thought it would be best for me to get out (of course I didn't want to but did anyway) so we drove back to the house then to Wal-mart to pick up a few necessities for the hospital. When we got back, the doctors were starting rounds at our room. This morning Michael received another sonogram of his liver and they saw something very interesting. Are you ready??!! One of the blood vessels appears to have reversed and is flowing the correct way!! Oh, I cannot explain the joy for this miracle. Of course we are not anywhere near being out of the woods, but we are one step closer. Kinda like having the first brick laid in a 1000 story tall building. I would think that this means that the liver is healing. There are many other factors that I am sure I am not aware of, but I am thankful that God is still listening to our prayers and he is answering.
Keep praying. Michael still has lots of fluid to get off of his body; kidneys need to begin functioning again; the bleeding needs to cease; more fluid needs to be removed from his lungs; his blood pressure to remain stable; and then we need him to come out of the drug induced coma. After all of this they will evaluate his overall recovery and determine if there is any permanent damage to deal with.
God is showing us and the world what the power of prayer can do. At times we feel like we've reached the end of our rope and God always provides a way to come through the trial. He never promised victories without fighting !!!
September 14, 2004
The doctors made their rounds this morning and left us with a little encouragement. They said that they feel that Michael is beginning to make a small step forward. The doctors said it is like chasing your tail around in circles while creeping forward. We thank the Lord for His grace and His mercy that He has extended towards us. Just this morning I was praying and asking God to give me just a "little something" to hang on to because I felt as if I was losing hope. The Lord was so kind and gracious to give us this small step forward to hang on to.
Michael is currently off of the versed which was keeping him pretty much out of it and unable to respond. He is still in a deep sleep but at least you can see a cough or a twitch of the eye. In fact, he is taking a few breaths on his own. The ventilator is set at 20 and he was registering 22. Since the dialysis machine was put on we have had many ups and downs. His blood pressure would not withstand the high rate that they wanted to run the machine so it has been slow getting fluid off of his body. Today, they gave him another blood pressure medicine and it has allowed them to run the machine at a higher rate and should be at zero for the day which means anything above that would be excess fluid that is being taken off. Of course, in order to keep the machine running smoothly they need to be giving him blood thinners which is impossible to do for him since we have such a bleeding problem already. His platelets are dropping because they have had to back off of them and now he only gets them every six hours instead of every 4 hours. The platelets cause clotting and if the machine clots then it shuts down. So, we have all of these things we can do for him, but they seem to all have side effects that cause another problem which is why the doctors say it is like chasing our tail, but we are making progress, it is just very slow progress.
Michael is a very strong young man and is much tougher than we have given him credit for and all of this will work in his favor. We need to get all of these things reversed before his body wears out. We know we still have a long road ahead of us, but we are hanging on to that thread of hope and clinging to the Master's hand.
If we have more updates today, we will let ya'll know. Michael is still in very critical condition, but by faith we are believing that he will be made well and be a living testimony of what God can do when people believe and pray.
September 15, 2004
This morning we were hit with the news that Michael's lungs had begun to hemorrhage overnight. This is due to his lack of being able to clot his blood. The cardiologist came in and told us that they would put him on a different ventilator and their was nothing more they could do after that. He hoped that this would help with his oxygen level but his suspicion was that it would only get worse. So far today his oxygen level has stayed at normal and they even reduced the machine that he was on.
The dialysis machine (CVVH) had to be taken off this morning also because of his blood. They finally got it restarted this afternoon and he went on the machine very well without any side effects.
The doctors made their rounds this morning and we were sure that they would give us bad news, but instead they were encouraged by the fact that Michael is making tiny, tiny baby steps forward, so they want to continue as aggressively as possible. Also, Michael's white count (infection fighters) is up to 2,000. It had been down to 100 and his platelets are up to 103,000 which is very good.
American Airlines (Alliance) is going to be conducting a platelet drive for Michael on October 1st. I will try to update with more info if the public is able to participate. Otherwise, I believe their will be a drive in Denton sometime in the near future.
Please keep praying that Michael's body will continue to respond to the supportive treatment that is being administered to him and that God will continue to heal Michael's body so that he can remain here with us and be a living testimony of what God can do.
September 16, 2004
Michael has been on the dialysis machine since 3:00 p.m. yesterday and it is still working. We prayed all night that God would help Michael so that all of the medicines and machines would work properly and He is apparently answering prayer.
Michael has remained stable today although not much improvement has been made. We spoke with the resparitory therapist and he said that Michael is responding exceptionally well to the new ventilator they have him on. In fact, he said something about weaning him off. Also, his lungs are doing better today.
We are praying and asking God to heal Michael so that he can be a testimony of God's power and mercy. Everyday we get little signs that are answers to our prayers and we are trying to hold on and believe that God will raise Michael up and he will walk out of this hospital. Michael is still in very critical condition but he is fighting and hanging on. We keep music and Bible CD's going for him throughout the day. The doctors and nurses believe that he can hear even though he is in this coma state so we are hanging on to that.
Please continue to pray for Michael's physical healing.
September 17, 2004
Michael had a peaceful night Thursday night. His condition is currently stable. His vital signs seem to be good and steady and the dialysis is starting to work. We are praying that we have reached the point in his condition that he may now start to turnaround and begin healing. There are some small signs that we are very optimistic about however there are still many concerns. The doctors have stated that they will continue providing supportive therapy for the body to hopefully provide the body the rest it needs to begin healing itself. Michael is still in a medically induced coma and does not respond with any movements. We know that he can hear us though, so we are spending much time praying with him, playing his favorite southern gospel songs and playing the Bible on CD for him. It's very important that right now he be comforted and encouraged by the things that he loves so much.
Obviously this is a very hard time for Tammy, Justin and Myself right now, but God is revealing Himself as a real living God through this journey. He is guiding the doctors and staff in the treatment process and His presence is being felt. God always has been and always will be in control of our every breath also. He is with us when the waters are still and when the seas are raging.
Please continue to pray for Michael, our family, the medical staff and those that have stood with us through this journey. Be sure to give God the glory for the victories as well as the trials in your life daily !!!
Thanks Mom for being here. We love you.
September 20, 2004
*** Update at 4:10 pm ***
We are still very concerned about Michael's blood pressure being unstable. We are asking everyone to pray for Michael's liver to begin recovering. This is vital to his chances for survival. The longer he remains in the situation of not moving forward, the greater his chances are of damage to other areas of his body. PLEASE PRAY FOR GOD'S HEALING POWER TO HAPPEN NOW !!! We know that God is in control and this is no surprise to Him. Our prayer is that God's perfect will be done for Michael's life. We are limiting Michael's visitors to immediate family only due to his condition. We have been able to visit and pray with those who have come to the hospital, but please do not request to see Michael. We feel that Michael would not want his friends to see him in this condition until he has improved. Most importantly, please PRAY.
*** Monday - 8:46 am ***
Yesterday was a battle. Michael is still in a coma but his vital signs have been stable most of the weekend. His body is filling with oxygen that is being forced through the lungs by the ventilator he is on. This is normal but looks very disturbing to us. The doctors have reassured us this will absorb and go away with time. Yesterday evening about 6:00pm one of the doctors came in to look at the dialysis cath / port they inserted in Michael's neck. This is where the dialysis machine is hooked up. It cracked and began to leak as the doctor was looking at it. Michael's vital signs immediately went crazy and people were coming from all over to try to keep him stabilized so they could repair the port. We left the room to go to the chapel and began praying immediately. When we left the room his blood pressure had dropped to 30 / 22 which is not good. We began to immediately pray for God's protection over Michael as they felt they were going to possibly loose Michael if they couldn't get the port fixed. After about 20 minutes they came to get us and let us know that they not only fixed the port but actually replaced it with a better one than the original. It took an hour or so to get everything stabilized but Michael is currently stable. We desperately need Michael's liver to start functioning. Please pray that it will. We are essentially in a race against time to get the liver to start recovering before anything else in his body starts to fail. The outside support being provided will only sustain him for so long. We are believing God for a miracle of healing in Michael's body. Please help us pray. When it seems hopeless; that's when God's glory will shine the brightest ! We believe that God is still alive and on the throne !!!
September 21, 2004
The Journey Is Almost Complete...
Michael's condition has not improved at all. We were showed his blood counts this morning and they are jumping by leaps. This means that everything in his body is failing which includes his liver, kidneys, and lungs. Also, he is showing signs of severe infection which could be the cancer spreading rapidly thru his body. I am not sure of this fact, but we do know that he does have a rapidly growing infection.
Yesterday we felt as though Michael had already left us. It is something that you cannot describe, but you just know. Justin told us that he felt that yesterday would be the day that God would take him home.
Michael is like a kite whose flying high in the sky but we are still holding on to the string that keeps him bound to this world. Dr. Wilkinson is checking on a few last reports before we let Michael go to his heavenly home.
Michael's dream has always been to sing with his favorite southern gospel group, "Gold City". Soon he will be singing "in" that Gold City.
It would appear that we are defeated, but that is so untrue. Do not believe that for one minute. Our goal for each of us is to gain our eternal reward with Christ. Michael has always been a very intelligent child and has always excelled in his schoolwork and in other areas.
Unless we receive a miracle today, Michael will graduate today and receive the greatest inheritance that anyone could receive.
Tuesday, September 21, 2004 11:22 AM CDT
Michael left this world today at 10:10 am to be with Jesus. He went home very quickly and peacefully. He will be missed. We are thankful that the Lord blessed us with Michael for 10 years and 5 months. His illness was diagnosed on 6-21-04 (the first day of summer) and ended on 9-21-04 (the first day of fall). The Bible says that in Heaven there will be no more sorrow, no more pain and we will praise the Lord for all eternity. Today is the start of Michael's New Journey. What a blessing he has been to us for his short time here. Please pray that people will understand that we are not promised any certain amount of time on earth, but we will however spend and eternity in either Heaven or Hell. The only way to share eternity in Heaven is to accept Jesus Christ as your personal Lord & Saviour as Michael did.
Thank you, everyone, everywhere for all of your prayers.
September 22, 2004
Michael Paul Malone of Rhome, Texas was born on April 13, 1994. Michael left this world peacefully, on Tuesday, September 21, 2004 to be with Jesus Christ, his personal Lord and Saviour after fighting a short and very courageous battle with cancer.
Michael was a very intelligent young man that loved the Lord with all of his heart and gladly served Him by singing God’s praises and enjoying God’s creation everyday. His favorite things were church, family, singing southern gospel music, drawing and his animals, especially his chickens. Everyone knew from a very early age that Michael was very talented because of his ability to draw and we watched that talent become one of his passions. Southern Gospel music also became a treasured part of Michael’s life in his later years as he memorized and continuously sang the words of many songs. He just recently sang “Mansion Over The Hilltop” in church with his Daddy.
Michael and his big brother Justin are members of the Chico 4-H club and have participated in many animal shows where they have won numerous awards for raising and showing dairy goats, chickens, rabbits and craft projects. One of Michael’s proudest 4H achievements was winning 4 grand champion awards at the 2003 Wise County Youth Fair.
We will miss Michael but know that if we continue to walk with the Lord, this will not be “Goodbye”, but instead will only be “We’ll see you in the morning”. We thank God for sharing Michael with us for 10 wonderful years.
In lieu of flowers, please make donations to Candle Lighters Childhood Cancer Foundation at www.candlelightersfw.org
Michael is survived by his parents Mickey and Tammy Malone and his big brother, Justin who reside in Rhome, Texas, his Grandpa Leo of Belleville, Illinois, Grandma Mary Jane of Coulterville, Illinois, Grandpa Pat of Belleville, Illinois, very special friends Keith and Janie Martin of Decatur, Texas, numerous aunts, uncles, cousins and his very special friends “Bubbles” and “Jubilee”.
Visitation will be Friday, September 24 from 6:00 to 9:00 pm at Faith Tabernacle Assembly of God Church, 1101 Audra Dr, Denton, Texas (940-565-1055) and services will be held on Saturday, September 25 at 10:00 am also at Faith Tabernacle Assembly of God Church.
September 27, 2004
A new Journey Begins...
We would like to thank everyone who came and showed their love and support for our family. We were so blessed by the attendance and if Michael would have been here, we know he would have been thrilled!
Words cannot describe the loss that we feel. For each of us it is different, yet the same. We cannot continue to ask the question "why?" instead, we must ask, "What or where do You want us to go from here?"
Heaven is a very real place to us now. We have many loved ones that have gone on before us; Tammy's mom, grandma, grandpa, and great-aunt and Mickey's grandfather. We also have a special friend, Mark Buggar, who is also there. Now a part of us is there too. Heaven is alive; it is the Land of the Living! We have just that much more to hang on to till one day, if we all keep the faith, will stand with our loved ones before the feet of Jesus.
Michael was to be a recipient of the Make-A-Wish foundation. Representatives from this organization came to visit with Michael the evening he came home from his last chemo treatment. Many of you have asked what Michael's wish was. Michael wanted to go to Florida so he could see the beach and his second wish was to sing with Gold City (which he had already had that opportunity). Rest assured, his wishes have come true. He is looking at the most beautiful beach ever known to man, singing "in" that Gold City!
Please continue to pray for our family as we begin to heal and pray for direction in our lives.
October 11, 2004
Things are different now. It’s almost like having your arm removed and now you have to get used to doing things one handed. You know that you can’t just simply quit living so you continue to ask God for the strength to rehabilitate. When you go to a restaurant you now ask for a table for 3 instead of 4, only 3 seats are occupied in our van and when I go to the altar to pray I’m used to having a son on each side of me. Things are different now. There is a fullness in knowing that Michael has reached Heaven, but an emptiness in knowing that he is no longer here with us.
I only partially realize what God must have felt when he sent His only begotten Son to leave Heaven and live on this earth. God knew exactly where Jesus was at all times, however He knew Christ must suffer on the cross before He returned. I know we will see Michael again if we continue to follow Christ, so the Christian life is more meaningful now than ever.
As the weather begins to get cooler and the skies are cloudy more often, it brings about a sadness that can’t be explained. When the winter comes it appears to almost certainly bring death to the vegetation, but we know that winter is only a season and after winter comes one of the most beautiful seasons of all ….. the spring. It means new life and fresh blooms.
We know that we are in the winter of our journey, but spring IS coming. God will not only see us through the winter weather but He has promised us a beautiful spring with deeply rooted vines and fresh blossoms like we have never seen before. We’re not exactly sure what God will bring for us but we do know that He will bring us through this trial with a deeper faith than we have ever experienced before. Our new journey, as with Michael’s new journey is only just beginning.
Please continue to keep our family in your prayers during our “winter” season.
November 9, 2004
Good morning, today is 7 weeks since Michael started his new journey. It has been 7 weeks of mixed emotions for our family. Joy, grief, peace, sadness, reassurance, loneliness and thankfulness to name just a few.
As the Thanksgiving season approaches, we earnestly look at what we have to be thankful for. We are so thankful to the Lord that He showed Michael mercy and compassion by not letting the disease of cancer linger for many painful years, we’re thankful for the 10 beautiful years of Michael’s life, we’re thankful for the hope that we have in Christ, that He is our salvation, that He truly is our comfort in the time of need and sorrow and that He will bring us all together again someday, plus many other things that the limited space here doesn’t permit us to share.
God has really shown us how much He loves us and cares for us since Michael’s passing. We will never get over the loss of Michael but we realize that He gives us strength and determination to go on and complete our walk through the Christian life. When we face the times of overwhelming grief, we feel His love comforting us and reassuring us that Michael is rejoicing in his new home. Michael is experiencing everything that we have read about, sung about, prayed about and preached about.
As the song says, “Oh I want to see Him, look upon His face”, we now more than ever realize what joy there is in loving the Lord and being saved while living in the midst of a lost and sinful world.
Michael’s early departure from this world has been by some ways a very deep loss to us, but in more important ways it has been a tremendous spiritual awakening. We will fight the good fight of faith and someday soon we will see Jesus and all of the saints that have gone on before us.
We thank God, for all of the reasons He gives to be thankful for.
December 6, 2004
Good morning
It’s been almost 11 weeks since Michael’s passing. We are missing Michael very much but realize there is more to this journey than just “losing” a child. We have not “lost” a child; we have helped him to prepare for his eternal life in Heaven. That is our responsibility as a Christian parent. Our heart is broken as we go on without Michael here by our side, but Heaven is so much more real now than ever before. We do not long to get to Heaven just so we can Michael but rather to see Jesus.
As a father I always keep tabs on what my boys are doing to ensure that they don’t get in trouble. Over the past weeks I’ve often wondered what Michael is doing right now; is he talking with Jesus, is he singing, is he laughing, is he in awe of the glory of the Creator. I do know for sure that he is saying, “Dad, Mom, Justin and everybody else, you have got to see this place, it’s so much better than I imagined. Please make sure you make it here so you can see for yourself. All the Saints are cheering for you to make it. And also God wants you to know that He really does love you.”
Heaven is worth the effort! So our attention is now directed on getting the rest of our family, friends and anyone that we come in contact with prepared to reach Heaven. Please know that we are not the answer, only the messengers.
We get so caught up in our own personal daily life that we sometimes fail to really see a lost and hurting world around us. Michael’s journey has definitely opened our hearts to that calling again. As the Christmas holiday approaches people will be focused on gifts and parties and holiday festivities, but what if Jesus comes on December 15th to get his church. Will you be ready? You may have all Christmas shopping done and cards sent out but that doesn’t count in the rapture. Please make sure you are ready. Being a good person or faithful “church member” is not enough. Christ must be your Saviour!!!
Please pray for someone that you know is lost. Pray that God will draw them near and they will respond. This will be the greatest gift you can ever give someone.
January 12, 2005
Well the holidays have come and gone. It was different around our house during Christmas and the start of a New Year seemed rather unimportant. But we will go on with God’s help. We still celebrated the birth of Jesus Christ, which is the real reason for Christmas. There was no big tree, bright lights or fancy presents. We just didn't feel very festive. We are thankful that we received the present of our son Michael for 10 beautiful years. And we also know that this past year Michael received the best present anyone could ask for. He got to see Jesus face to face. We are anxiously waiting that day for ourselves.
As we look back over the last year we realize that God is truly in control and we are thankful that He does still love us in spite of what the world would see as a rough year. We’ve learned so much about prayer, faith, hope and God Himself. We still want to serve Him because He is our hope. As rough as this world is, it is just the place where we get ready for eternity. There is no reason to fear our daily trials and turmoils.
Thank you to all that have prayed for our family over the last year. We are so blessed and touched by the outpouring of love and concern for our well being. This upcoming year will bring struggles we’re sure, but we have more faith and understanding than we have ever had before. God is still alive and on the throne so we know there is hope for a brighter day. We will overcome.
April 25, 2005
Greetings in Jesus Christ precious name to everyone that reads this journal entry,
God is so good, even in the midst of the most violent storm. It has been 7 months since Michael left us to be with the Lord. To say that we miss him is a huge understatement. Our hearts will be broken forever although we are not living a life of hopelessness. God will always provide the strength we need to go on with our daily lives even though they have changed dramatically. It’s very hard to put into words the way we feel about all of this. God is faithful and His grace is sufficient for all of our needs. We are not angry with God, for He is in control of our every breath. We know that Michael is in Heaven with the Lord because of his profession of faith in Jesus Christ as his personal Lord and Saviour so we would be selfish to pray for his return to us. This doesn’t mean that we are not heartbroken and longing for the day we will be reunited again as a family. Each day brings about different feelings for each of us. We have always been together as a family everywhere we go and in everything we do. It’s very different setting the dinner table with only 3 plates now instead of 4. We buy fewer groceries, do less laundry, don’t have as many muddy shoes on the back porch and the list goes on. Life is so different that it’s not a possibility for it to ever get back to normal. Some people say that time will heal the hurt. That is not going to happen, but instead God provides the strength to manage the pain. Once a wound heals there is a scar and the scar is very tender. Has the wound healed? Yes, but the tender scar will always be there. At times it’s very difficult to talk about Michael’s illness and passing, at other times it is almost necessary in order to relieve the pain. Some people say that Michael’s death was just unbelievable for a child to die at only 10 years old, what good could possibly come of the death of such an innocent child? God is in control and this will be for His glory, not Michael’s or ours. We may never understand it, but God knows what He is doing. He has never failed. Why does God heal some and not others? Why does He heal some that are evil and wicked, yet take those that are so innocent and trusting of the Lord? Why does He heal some Christians and not others? ---- God’s ways are not our ways and we need to trust fully in the Lord and lean not upon our own understanding. When we push the buttons on a calculator we trust the end result to be correct, we don’t judge or try to understand how the calculator works to get the desired result, we just have faith that it works. If we can trust a $4.98 calculator, how much more should we trust an Almighty God that can create an entire universe with the sweep of His Sovereign hand? God is good my friend, God is so, so very good. We know that somewhere down the line we will be called upon by God to minister to someone that may be going through the exact circumstances that we are going through. Wouldn’t it be nice to know if that happens to be you that needs to be ministered to, that we can provide real proof that God is alive, He loves us and will carry us right through even the most violent storm we could ever face? Please continue to pray for our family for strength, comfort and the continual healing of a broken heart and know that there is a Loving, Just and Holy God that provides our every breath.
Mickey, Tammy, Justin & “Michael”
September 20, 2005
Tomorrow will be 1 year since Michael left us for his new home in Heaven. I'm sure he is really enjoying it and is glad that he made the journey. We are all looking forward to making that journey some day. Are you prepared for the journey ? Our life is so different than it was before Michael got sick. There is an emptiness that only Michael's presence can fill. We have talked with God daily to help us make sense of what has happened and everyday God reassures us that He doesn't make mistakes and that we should have faith in Him that everything will work out for a reason. So we trust Him for all of our directions in life. It may never be for us to understand each thing in life that happens, but God will lead us if we give Him the opportunity to do so. Justin is getting so tall and handsome. We are very proud of how he is growing up. He misses Michael a lot more than he talks about which is very heartbreaking for us. But as he continues to place his faith in God, he is comforted. Tammy and I are doing OK. There are days when it's a struggle but we serve a very loving God that provides strength for the journey. We try to focus on what we have been blessed with not what we have lost. This gives us the hope that is needed for each day. God is so very good. All the time.
September 21, 2005
Michael we miss you and love you very much. We are really looking forward to when we can be together again.
Dad, Mom & Justin