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Encouragement
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How to listen so people will hear you!
by JoJo Tabares
Listening is THE most important communication skill. It is essential
in a
marriage, as a parent and in the business world! Most people are too
busy
thinking about what they are going to say next to pay much attention to
what
the other person is saying. However, merely listening to the words
that
someone says will only give you about 7% of the meaning!
Good conversationalists, great communicators and smart business owners
are
"Active Listeners". What's an active listener? You have heard that
old
expression: God gave you two ears and one mouth! An active listener is
someone who listens twice as much as he talks. Someone who listens to
what
was not said. Someone who listens to how it was said. An active
listener
is someone who pays attention to the other person's tone of voice, body
language, eye contact and facial expressions. From this we may
determine
the degree to which Mary doesn't like people who interrupt her, the
fact
that John is being sarcastic or that Sally never talks about her
mother.
These may be significant bits of information that you will need to know
when
trying to relate to people!
Here is why active listening is so crucial:
If your daughter is not excited about your idea for summer vacation,
you can
stop trying to sell her on it and, instead, talk to her about why she
isn't
excited about it. You may find that it is a simple misunderstanding.
Once
dealt with, you may go on to have a wonderful family vacation. If
allowed
to fester, her resentment can put a serious damper on your fun!
If your prospective customer says that she is very thrifty, you might
want
to bring her attention to the fact that your products will save her
money in
the long run, instead of continuing to talk about the fact that they
are of
less harmful to the environment. Both are true, but only one is really
important to your customer.
Active listeners pay attention to the details and can, therefore,
better
understand and relate to the person with whom they are communicating.
The
more you know your audience, the better you will be able to tailor your
message to that audience whether you are persuading someone of the
value of
your business or persuading your daughter that she shouldn't go out
with
THAT BOY!
JoJo Tabares holds a degree in Speech Communication and is the author
of the
Say What You Mean series of studies on effective communication skills.
If
you want more information on effective communication skills, please
visit
her website, Art of Eloquence at http://www.artofeloquence.com
A Woman that Fears the Lord
A Letter to Weary Homeschool Mothers
Dear Mothers,
Are you weary, precious Mother ? Has the desire to train and educate your children become another " have to " added to the already long list of other duties that fill your day ?
I've struggled the past four years under " my list " also. My list consisted of all the " things" I felt I was to accomplish to bring glory to God. I was to have a spotless home, be a perfectly submissive wife, homeschool my children using the best possible methods, and run a home business that was completely orderly and organized. Plus all the other " things " that would make for a good home like baking my own bread, growing a vegetable garden, etc. I'll confess to you dear friend, that I have never felt that I have lived up to any of those expectations. In the midst of it all, I've complained and grumbled, been stressed and often unpleasant to live with. Does this sound familiar to any of you ?
I have for years been crying out to my Savior to show me how to " do it all" to His glory. What He is showing me is that I have started where I should have ended. My relationship with Him is where I must begin and stay. Not just during our devotional time but all day, moment by moment depending on Him to give me what my family needs me to be, instead of focusing on reaching a standard of " lifestyle " that I thought showed holiness. Out of that relationship will flow His character, which only He can give me ! As I know Him more intimately, and the power of His resurrection in me, I will then reflect the kind of love that brings glory to Him. How will my " lifestyle " glorify God if I'm not fulfilling it with a gentle and peaceful spirit? My peace will be tied to my accomplishments, not to my relationship to Him.
If I live my day in my own strength , I will become a " sounding brass " displaying no love, only concerned with my list of " things " to accomplish. Sooner or later I will suffocate under the load and then I will either change the " lifestyle " or by God's grace turn to him for help.
So, how does this relate to our everyday lives ? Well, Sisters, have you been homeschooling in your own strength , or have you been daily, sometimes moment by moment, going to the source of your strength, Jesus ? Is the list that you have assigned yourself one that will bring glory to you or to Him ? If you are burdened, weary or frustrated it may be because you have been carrying your own load. My prayer is that we, as Mothers, become more aware of our inability, and depend more on His sufficiency. He is an ever present help in times of trouble, we are to cast our cares upon Him because he cares for us we can do all things through Him which strengtheneth us.
Oh, that our homes may be built firm upon Christ our Savior and not just on the efforts of our flesh. May we depend on His strength to be the keepers of our home that he has called us to be. He is faithful in His work in us to complete it. May this be our prayer !!!
Copyrighted 1998 by Georgene Girouard. You may reproduce this article in it's entirety.
Love Struck from Within
By Alyice Edrich
6/16/99
Revised April 28, 2003
As my husband and I sat down to a weekly bible study-to work on
the `Loving Your Husband' or in my husband's case, "Loving Your Wife'
bible study-I was left wondering if this study was really for me.
After all, I was the one always sacrificing in my marriage, the one
always lifting the extra finger, and going the extra mile. Why
should I be asked to re-evaluate my role in this marriage? Why
wasn't I learning how to change my husband? To make him a better mate?
But as each week passed, I soon learned that the thorn in my own eye
was jeopardizing the marriage I so desperately wanted-for so many
years. I had to put forth an effort to see myself in a new light. to
see what needed to be changed, and accept the things that didn't.
This was not an easy task-for me-as I grew up having a very low self-
esteem and self-worth. It took nine long years (after meeting my
husband) to build up the confidence to accept my flaws, and now I was
being asked to re-evaluate who I was and why I did what I did. And
yet, each week came with my wondering if I had done my best, if I
could've done better, or if I was pointing fingers to make myself
look better.
It wasn't always easy. In fact, there were times I couldn't believe
the guilt signals God gave me. You know them, don't you? That
feeling deep within you that makes you aware of your wrongs-the ones
that nudge you to accept responsibility and apologize, even when you
don't want to?
As time passed, I began to look back upon my life and for once, I
could see how God took my life's path and redirected it in such a way
that He lead me to my husband-who in turn, through his uncertainty of
Christ, drew me closer to God. For you see, my husband grew up
knowing about God and His Word, but he never really had a
relationship with God. I, on the other hand, had always had a
relationship with God, but never put any effort into knowing His Word
or what He wanted from my life.
Doing this bible study reaffirmed in me, something that I had always
known, yet haven't always put into practice and that is the simple
truth that God's love is the center of all we are, all we do, and all
we'll ever be. In fact, He loves us so much, that He helps direct
our paths in such a way, that we can't help but find our soul mates.
And if we don't fill our hearts and days with His love, we might as
well say good-bye to our marriage, because without God's inner love,
we can't possibly build a lasting, loving marriage.
And as an added bonus, this bible study has helped me fall in love
with my husband all over again. Its deep studies, meditations,
prayers, and devotionals reminded me of all the good within my
husband, while taking the thorns out of my own eyes. In the end, I
once again became "love struck from within."
Alyice Edrich is a freelance writer, author, and editor of The Dabbling Mum.com, an online magazine for BUSY Parents. Stop by
and gain a wealth of information in
parenting, parties, home business, and writing.
http://thedabblingmum.com
Online magazine for BUSY Parents offers great advice in party planning,
writing, building a home business, and parenting issues. Plus
freebies,
book and video reviews, and a free monthly essay contest with great
prizes. Click here: http://thedabblingmum.com
A Coffee Break
I hope you enjoy this CUP
OF COFFEE:
A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how
things
were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and
wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as
one problem was solved and a new one arose.
Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and
placed each on a high and hot fire. Soon the pots came to a boil. In the
first, she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs and the last she
placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil, without saying a
word. In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the
carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed
them in a bowl. The she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl.
Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me, what do you see?"
"Carrots, eggs and coffee," she replied. She brought her closer and asked
her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. She then
asked her to take an agg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she
observed the hard-boiled egg. Finally, she asked her to sip the coffee.
The
daughter smiled as she smelled and tasted its rich aroma. The daughter
then
asked, "What does it mean, mother?"
Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same
adversity
- BOILING WATER - but each reacted differently. THE CARROT went in
strong,
hard and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water,
it softened and became weak. THE EGG had been fragile. Its thin outer
shell
had protected its liquid interior. But, after sitting through the boiling
water, its inside became hardened. THE GROUND COFFEE BEANS were unique,
however. After they were in the boiling water, they had CHANGED the
water.
"Which are you?", she asked her daughter. "When adversity knocks on your
door of life, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee
bean?"
THINK OF THIS: Which am I? Am I the CARROT that seems strong, but with
pain
and adversity, you wilt, become soft and lose your strength? Am I the EGG
that starts with a malleable heart, but the adversity of life hardens your
heart? Or am I the GROUND COFFEE BEANS that positively transform and
change
the world around me no matter what life brings my way? - UNKNOWN
Ok, we all experience difficulties and I hope that I am a ground coffee
bean, what about you? I hope that I am positively influencing the world
around me with the LOVE OF CHRIST!
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