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Enigmas of Life (Website Page 10)
To see PlanOfSalvation video
For your - FREE gift
(over 80 to choose from)
Click on desired title
Math Trick
Pi
I'm My Own Grandpa
Typoglycemia
UFO's and You
The Little Drummer Boy
Yes, Virginia
The Life After Christmas
Math Trick
1-Type (on a calculator) the 1st 5 digits of your Social Security number (or any nine digit number).
2-Multiply by 80
3-Add 1
4-Multiply by 250
5-Add the last 4 digits of your Social Security number (or that same nine digit number as above).
6-Add the last 4 digits again
7-Subtract 250
8-Divide number by 2
9-Do you recognize the answer?
Pi = 3.14
It is impossible to square a circle.
Pi, rounded off = 3.14. But mankind has yet to find it’s value.
Pi is an IRRATIONAL number – that is, it never repeats, such as 3.3333333…….
Pi is a TRANSCENDENTAL number, that it is not the root of a rational polynomial equation.
Pi is usually rounded out to 3.14. Interestingly, if you take Pi 23 decimal places, you have 3.14159265358979323846264 How(3) I(1) want(4) a(1) drink,(5) alcoholic,(9) of(2) course,(6) after(5) the(3) heavy(5) lectures(8) involving(9) quantum(7) mechanics.(9) All(3) of(2) thy(3) geometry,(8) Herr(4) Planck,(6) is(2) fairly(6) hard.(4).
"Pi" is usually rounded off to 3.14, but has been calculated out to at least 480 million places, yet will never be solved. pi = p (between the values 310/71 and 31/7) is obtained by circumscribing and inscribing a circle with regular polygons having 96 sides. It is the number of times the diameter of a circle goes into it's circumference. 3.141592653589793....... PI is called a transcendental number, going on infinitely, and never, coming to an end.
If you want to see Pi to 50,000 places, visit www.TinyURL.com/5EPWD
To see it worked out to 200 MILLION, visit www.angio.net/pi/piquery.html
So far to date, it has been worked out to 200 BILLION places…..and counting. To printout the results would run computer paper around the world ten times or fill a stack sheets over two miles high.
The subject is so amazing, it is one of the most incredible enigmas of life.
When dealing with straight lines, we can find dimensions and areas in one minute or less. The area of a square is A=L X W Area is equal to length times the width. If one was to draw a square 10 inches on each side, the area of that square is 100 square inches.
But to draw a circle equal to 100 square inches is absolutely impossible.
In the mathematical world they say that “It is impossible to square a circle”. That is, there is no possible way to draw a square equal in square inch area to a circle. But that is backwards. It is elusive enough to try to create a circle equal in area to a square, but what is so elusive to begin with is trying to calculate the area of ANY circle in the first place! There is positively no way this side of eternity to know the solution. The formula to calculate the area of a circle is:
A=Pi X R X R (Pi R Square). Pi is equal to the radius times the radius. Simple enough – but Pi has no exact value. Therefore no one can ever know the answer.
Why? We are not dealing with straight lines when drawing circles or ellipses. Circles have no beginning and no end. Circles have curved lines that are affecting the calculation constantly as your travel around the curve. It essentially amounts to a task of finding the area to the circle by finding the area of “pie shaped” sectors of that circle essentially in the shape of triangles, then adding them all up. However, one side of that triangle is a curved line, and escapes “finding out”.
“O the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are his judgments, and his ways past finding out!” Rom. 11:33
(c)2006 David Film
I'm My Own Grandpa
I'm My Own Grandpa
Lyrics: Dwight Latham, Moe Jaffe
Music: Dwight Latham, Moe Jaffe
Oh, many, many years ago
When I was twenty-three
I was married to a widow
Who was pretty as can be
This widow had a grown-up daughter
Who had hair of red
My father fell in love with her
And soon the two were wed
This made my dad my son-in-law
And changed my very life
For my daughter was my mother
'Cause she was my father's wife
To complicate the matter
Though it really brought me joy
I soon became the father
Of a bouncing baby boy
This little baby then became
A brother-in-law to Dad
And so became my uncle
Though it made me very sad
For if he was my uncle
Then that also made him brother
Of the widow's grown-up daughter
WHo of course is my step-mother
Chorus
I'm my own grandpa
I'm my own grandpa
It sounds funny I know
But it really is so
Oh, I'm my own grandpa
My father's wife then had a son
Who kept them on the run
And he became my grandchild
For he was my daughter's son
My wife is now my mother's mother
And it makes me blue
Because although she is my wife
She's my grandmother too
Now if my wife is my grandmother
Then I'm her grandchild
And every time I think of it
It nearly drives me wild
For now I have become
The strangest case you ever saw
As husband of my grandma
I am my own grandpa
[chorus]
Typoglycemia
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to rscheearch taem at Cmabrigde Uinevtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Such a cdonition is arppoiately cllaed Typoglycemia.
(Visit www.TinyURL.com/NQEA5 to have your own stuff translated!)
***********************************************************
Before discussing this subject, I need to define two terms:
1-“Believe”
When you encounter this word in the following passages, you must understand the difference between “Believing” some account or testimony or “Believe” in the sense of “Accepting” it. We can “Believe” what someone may say (that they are not lying), but do not have to “Accept” it.
-
2-“Real” or “Fact”
When I state in my writings below about something being “Real”, I am defining it by my FIVE SENSES: See, hear, taste, touch and smell. We are accustomed to accepting something as “Real” if it meets one of more of the above. However, there is a realm beyond ours that is a “spirit” realm, and now we get into the realm of “Faith”. For some reason, when the subject of UFO’s comes up, we shift gears in our mentality, and we find we are talking about “beliefs”, “religion”, or a “spiritual place” or “afterlife”. Jack Paar of the original “Tonight Show” once said “There are three things we should never discuss: Religion, Folk Singing and Incest”. For some reason the category of “Religion” is so controversial that people won’t even go there. He should have added "UFO's".
-
Do you believe in UFO’s?
Are we alone?
Who are they?
Why are they here?
Where are they from?
-
How do we respond to questions like these? Have you ever met someone first-hand that had an experience with a UFO or a sighting? I have. I met the family in 1995. For this reason I can say that it only takes one white crow to prove that all crows aren’t black. Even if every single account I have seen on TV or read about turned out to be a hoax, I know one personally that was not. They spent at least two hours in their encounter.
-
Relying on our Five Senses
Every documentary, story, movie, encounter concerning UFO’s has a basic common denominator – they are based on EMPIRICISM - The five senses.
In a world of mathematics, we find that in three angles of a triangle, the angles total 180 degrees. Every single triangle in the world totals 180 degrees. Since the beginning of time, every triangle that ever existed in the world totaled 180 degrees. It has never been less or more – always the same.
-
However, I do a presentation before a live audience, and draw a triangle consisting of three straight lines, having three angles, and they total 230 degrees. Individuals can even bring their own protractor and measure them. I have begun a new cult now with a following of over 100 million (just kidding). So now I defy what we are accustomed to seeing in our world. If no one understood it, I would probably be branded as a heretic.
-
What is my point? We live in a world where everything we observe, we define with our five senses: See, Hear, Taste, Touch and Smell. In hours and hours of stories, documentaries, movies about UFO’s I always find the same thing: The sightings, the eyewitness accounts, the information - is always based on our five senses.
-
When we see a magician perform some illusion, he demonstrates something before our eyes that defies explanation. But that is because he seems to override or suspend our laws of physics. Even today, many of these illusionists simply perform a “trick”, but are branded as heresy and witchcraft simply because the illusion is not explained. We often shy away from them because their “tricks” don’t “compute” with our natural reasoning. Regardless of what people’s philosophy of life is, we all live by Empiricism.
My father was an atheist all his life. His whole world was based on his five senses. But on his deathbed, he laid there, unable to talk. Just as he was about to expire, he held his hands in front of him with a look of horror on his face – as if something extraordinary was happening, that he was witnessing parts of his body passing into a spirit realm – and for the first time he realized there was a world beyond the five senses.
-
However, the strange thing about this is that when you talk about another “dimension” or “realm” outside this world of “empiricism”, you are accused of getting “religious”. It is simply a world beyond our own, but this “spiritual” realm is synonymous with “religious” for some reason – and many don’t want to talk about it because there are so many religious beliefs that are often contradictory.
-
At one time, people were burned at the stake for finding facts that go against the “norm”. When Copernicus discovered that the Sun was in the center of our Solar System, it rocked the world. If I was to live in the 16th century, and drew a triangle that totaled 230 degrees, I would be accused of challenging Church dogma and would be ostracized, exorcized and vaporized.
-
When something comes along that travels 15,000 mph, makes right angle turns that supersede our laws of inertia, momentum and gravity, and has a propulsion system we don’t understand, we immediately:
1-Go into denial and refuse to believe that it exists, and live in a plastic bubble.
2-Pigeonhole it because it doesn’t “fit” our logic, and burn the one who witnessed it at some stake for “religious heresy”.
Or:
3-Challenge it, study it, analyze it and draw some VERY interesting conclusions.
“And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.” John 8:32
-
When I was a boy, I was intrigued with curious arts, and sent away, bought books, subscribed to magazines - to find out all I could about Jeane Dixon, Peter Herkos, Nostrademus, Edgar Cayce, and Psychic Phenomena.
I also was fascinated with UFO’s and extraterrestrial phenomena. A retired Air Force Major Donald E. Keyhoe put out a monthly magazine, “The UFO Investigator”, about UFO sightings, encounters and evidence. It was a real eye opener to bona-fide, first-hand eyewitness accounts, the reality of UFO’s and facts about them.
One of the most interesting things about the MANY sightings and accounts was that the U.S. Government would go to great lengths to cover them up, explain them away or make excuses for the event, either to avoid a nationwide panic, or because there were things they did not want the public to know about them. There are other reasons for keeping it under wraps, which I will explain later.
However, regardless of how much I read about, heard about, or knew about people who experienced these events, everything was second-hand information. Never in my entire life did I ever meet anyone personally who ever had a first-hand encounter - until the spring of 1995. One can read about far-fetched stories in Tabloid newspapers, and see movies on this subject for years. One can read books, subscribe to monthly magazines, and see special programs about it on TV, but after all that’s said and done, the bottom line is “how reliable are they?”, or “It must be a hoax to make money” to come up with such hair-raising accounts. The element of doubt and skepticism is always there.
In 1995, I met someone who related to me a first-hand account of an encounter with a UFO. Before I relate this story, I want the reader to know that this person had nothing to gain by making up this story, and was not in the business of sensationalizing any experience for publicity. This person's two children were witnesses to the account as well. In fact, one of them had tried to explain what happened to friends, schoolmates, etc, but was scoffed and derided so much, that he wouldn’t even talk about it anymore.
I wrote this person recently, to get the account on paper, documented, and permission to use it in print:
"The year was 1973, near Tulsa, Oklahoma. “The kids and I were driving around, looking at houses on the road to Sapulpa. I stopped and told John we would be home around 7:00. That’s when he closed the station.
“I drove past the house we looked at over the weekend, and noticed a small A-Frame off the side of the road, so I turned off sharply to get a closer look. As soon as I pulled up to the house, Michael jumped out of the car and Candy followed right behind him. They were running off past the house.
“The next thing I remember is Michael grabbing my shoulder and yelling at me to slow down. I put my foot on the brake and realized I was driving the car. When we got home, John was standing by the door and yelled “Where have you been? I was getting ready to call the police.” “I told you we were going to look at that house.” I said. “For three hours?” He said. It was now 10:20. Michael kept saying something about space men, but I got mad and told him to “Shut up”. I said we saw their beautiful A-Frame house and that is all I could think about. “This beautiful house”.
“After about two weeks of me talking about this house, John wanted to see it for himself. So we drove over there. Michael was really upset and would not get out of the car. I was in shock. This beautiful house was nothing more than a little A-Frame storage shed.
“Michael said “I told you we never went in the house. We went in the space ship.” I got so mad at him and told him never to talk about it again. Well, he didn’t - not for a long time. Then in 1987, after many years of bad dreams, he sat me down and told me what happened that night.
“When we pulled off the road, he saw a big space ship. There were three tall men wearing shiny suits, standing in front by an open door. He jumped out of the car and ran to the ship. Candy followed him and I ran after her. They took us inside. The light was so bright he could hardly see, but he could hear Candy screaming. He knew they were doing something to her, but he was unable to move. They let us leave and told us not to look back. He said he looked back. That’s why he can remember and we can’t.
“That’s how it happened. We had a three hour time lapse, and I have a memory of the most beautiful house in the world that was nothing more than a tool shed. Candy got very sick and three months after our encounter (Feb. 1973), she had a Cholostomy tumor removed from her mastoid. She has suffered from migraine headaches ever since.”
As she related details to me the first time she told it, I could add other details that were not covered above, but would be no point in belaboring this story.
I suppose that even you, the reader, will wonder after reading this, and think that perhaps all this is conjured up to make a financial killing, or some underhanded way to make a name for ones self with publicity. I have nothing to gain by writing this, and may even be the subject of criticism. But from what I know, and after gathering information on facts, accounts and common threads running through these encounters, this is a subject that must be addressed because of it’s seriousness, as I will point out.
1-People who have encounters with UFO’s, aliens, abductions, etc,
often - and almost always - have a mysterious lapse of memory. They are totally incapable of accounting for lost time due to amnesia. They often do not remember anything of the account, except under hypnosis.
2-Often the subject will remember some vivid memory of a beautiful object or animal which is an attempt to drown out what actually happened.
3-Some mysterious post-hypnotic suggestion they are given which causes them to do something compulsively and impulsively after the encounter.
4-Often electrical malfunctions and interference during the encounter, with no reasonable explanation or cause.
5-A change in personality of the victim or subject after the encounter, and often traumatic emotional effects due to terrorizing experiences. Also animosity toward people subsequent to the event.
6-Disease or unexplainable abnormality of the body, often resulting from some “operation” performed on them.
7-The victim, upon encountering the sighting, is totally incapable of escaping, very much like a rabbit terrified when it makes eye contact with a snake. Apparently mind control or parapsychology is involved. Also a sensation of terror, panic and nightmarish experience. The beings communicate telepathically, and never speak with their mouth, and have no ears. (this gives them away, as we will see later)
8-Attempts to protect the secrecy of the event, as if the intentions are to deliberately keep it confidential. Fear to reveal details or deny its validity for fear of ridicule.
9-Victims are NOT people on drugs, psycho problems, hallucinations, emotional problems or under stress.
10-The encounters are NOT from watching too many horror movies,not imaginary, not dreams or nightmares, and MOST are NOT government top secret projects. The objects they encounter and aliens are tangible, physical, events, seen by more than one person at once. They are real, mechanical crafts, with real physical mechanical equipment.
11-The crafts have the ability to supersede and operate independently from our physical world of mass, gravity, momentum, inertia. They have the ability to hover silently and make right angle turns at unheard of speeds.
“living” quarters.
13-Encounters usually associated with sexual related experiments, sexual acts or references to private parts in some type of attempt to gratify, which also gives them away.
14-Often the victim has more than one encounter, and apparently indicates that he/she is susceptible to subsequent encounters, as they tend to “make good subjects” as people often find in the field of hypnosis.
15-Beings continually lie, evade questions, evade answers that might reveal their nature or origin. Often give hints of being incredibly old in age, which also give them away. They never explain where they are from, except illogical explanations like “some planet behind the sun” which are outrageous.
16-Encounters, sightings and phenomena have increased steadily since the 1940’s, which indicate that a stage is being set for the culmination of this world as we know it. The encounters and details surrounding them are carefully orchestrated to get desired responses from us (earthlings) - acceptance of them through intimidation, fear, total futility to retaliate, etc. In other words, total acceptance of them and their purpose, with an attitude of surrender. Many of the points covered above may raise more questions than they answer, but there are a few questions that are the most puzzling of all:
Who are these beings? Where are they from? Why are they here?
Why are they so evasive about telling anyone any facts or explaining their “mission” to anyone? Of the many characteristics we find common in these accounts, some of them are very significant:
1-The very nature of these beings are that they lie. They could even be considered compulsive liars. They deliberately evade questions that give them away. They give answers that hide facts and details.
2-They could be classified as being “foul” beings, with putrid or foul odors, and often untidy in the way they exist. In the Roswell incident, cattle would not cross the path of the debris they found from the UFO crash. These are definitely not of God, but demonic or demon-possessed, from a fallen race or civilization.
3-They appeal to some important elements: Empiricism, fear, hostility and threats with a technology that surpasses anything we have or know of, which totally intimidates us. This is setting the stage for what is coming.
When the anti-christ comes on the scene in the Tribulation, he will have a supernatural ability to bring the nations and politics of the world together under “peace” like no one has ever been able to. He will also perform supernatural signs and lying wonders where all the world will wonder after him. The basic characteristics of the anti-christ will be empiricism, fear, hostility, threats, and will be able to surpass anything that we have ever done.
Empiricism deals with the five senses. Empiricism centers around a realm that you can see, hear, taste, touch and smell.
It is the opposite of faith. It is the enemy of faith. People who have to “see to believe” do not understand faith. “Blessed are they that believe yet have not seen.” If a person makes decisions based on empiricism, he will discount everything he believes based on something he sees. What he “experiences” will override and nullify whatever he believes. What he experiences takes priority. He will draw conclusions based on what he sees through empiricism, not what he believes.
There are three enemies of faith:
1-Empiricism: If one stops to realize, this whole physical world is based on empiricism. The TV we watch is based on an artificial lifestyle. The things we see are not the colors they appear to be. Not only is the color we see only the way the object reflects the spectrum (the object itself has no color), but everything we see is made or painted with artificial coloring anyway. Artificial sweeteners, artificial flavors, plastics, etc. Our whole system runs on energy based on carbon, when God’s energy is based on hydrogen. The money we spend is not money at all, and is only backed up by paper. The only reason you can spend it is because the one you give it to is convinced that he can spend it. In reality, this “real” world is not real at all. We are deceived at every turn. It like living in some “Alice in Wonderland” world, yet thinking the whole time that it truth, when in reality it is a lie. When we look “through the looking glass” and raise our right hand, the one in the “looking glass” raises his left. Yet the image is not reversed, even though our textbook say that it is. If we hold up a letter “R” to the mirror, the “R” is reversed - but not because the mirror reversed it, but because WE reversed it when it faced the mirror!
2-Emotionalism: Lust of the eyes (In the temptation in the wilderness, Satan showed Jesus "all the kingdoms of the world" (Matt. 4:8,9 - lust of the eyes). Emotionalism produces emotional dependency. Individuals make decisions based on how they may feel or letting emotion be the criteria. People with emotional hurts, etc, become materialistic with possessions, material things to compensate for their emotional security. Also related in this area are emotional ties to family members, ancestry, family traditions, heirlooms, etc. As long as these areas are their god, they will eventually become their Judas.
3-Rationalism: We only accept things as fact if they “make sense”, if they are “logical”. We only believe things that we have been told are true, or accepted by the masses as true. If enough books, encyclopedias, teachers says they are true, that makes them true. If they “line up with the norm” they are accepted as fact. Yet if one was to go back to square one, they will find that even our encyclopedias and history books are being rewritten to agree with what they want the public to believe. We are trained to doubt the facts and accept the theories. We are taught to “go with the flow”, the “acceptable lifestyle” of credit, false securities, insurance policies, electronic cash, etc. Anything or anyone who doesn’t line up with this mentality is regarded as the “misfit, hindering the wheels of progress”.
So what are we to believe? If there is something right before our eyes that is a lie, how are we to know? What are people to do if they are terrorized by the anti-christ to deny what God says? What if the “miracles” that he performs are “real”. Are they real? What if the signs and lying wonders in the sky confirm what the anti-christ says? The anti-christ will play his “ace trump”. He will give it everything he has. When Elijah contested with the Baal worshippers, fire came out of Heaven, consumed the sacrifice, and convinced them who was the One True God. But the anti-christ will also “call fire out of the sky” to deceive many. It will be the greatest deception of all time.
So what is truth? How will one know? One thing is for sure: If we can’t survive when the footmen come, what will we do with the horsemen come? If people are destroyed for lack of knowledge now, God help them then!
What is so amazing about UFO’s is that they are real, but the definition of “REAL” demands explanation. Just because they are real, tangible, material objects, we have to understand something about the “real” world around us.
EMPIRICISM
In a presentation I do demonstrating facts and phenomena about light, and how a cosmos world system of darkness transforms itself as light, I demonstrate some mind-bending things about a mathematics that is beyond our three dimensional universe. Before a class, or group in any given opportunity, I draw triangles with a marking pen. Students or adults come up and with a protractor, measure the three angles in each triangle. We add the three angles up and come up with 230 degrees. In this world of ours, every single triangle has three angles that total 180 degrees. Never any more or less. Regardless of what kind of triangle you draw, the totals are always 180 degrees. But I demonstrate this to point out that when we exist in the third dimension, there is another dimension where our conventional math falls apart.
Using Einstein’s Theories of relativity, space and time, scientists have been able to calculate mathematically some strange phenomena: If we were somehow able to fly through space approaching the speed of light, and came upon a star or planet, we would be able to see the backside of that star before we even reached it.
The point I want to make with this example is to illustrate a fact that, in a dimension beyond ours, there exists a world that is not subject to ours. There is a world that is not subject to gravity, inertia, momentum, or anything else we are bound by. There is a spirit world where material objects - tangible, real objects - including space ships and indentations they leave behind when the take off - can be “lying wonders”. They are lies. They are false. The crafts, the aliens, and everything they do are lies. They promote fear, terror and lies. Whether or not they are more advanced than us means nothing. Satan is more advanced than us. It is only a fear and intimidation tactic.
Isn’t it interesting that the evasiveness of so many encounters causes suspicion, doubt, skepticism and false accusations, yet the result of it produces books, movies and world wide publicity! The more it is covered up, the more it flourishes. Isn’t it also ironic that people wind up doubting the fact of what happened, yet believing the lie of it! The masses are hungering after a “spiritual experience” or “beings” that we can regard as our “Savior” – but they are looking in all the wrong places.
Where do they come from? What planet is their home base? They are not from “Some planet behind the Sun”. The fact that they are not “living beings” is the reason they communicate telepathically. In order to speak through their mouth, they would have to have lungs - breathing apparatus. Yet they don’t. The fact that they have no ears is because they would have to be equipped with eardrums and all of the parts necessary to provide sound waves to their “brain”. Even their eyes are “not there” as many eyewitness accounts verify. They are empty holes in sockets, as they are not living souls. (The eyes are the windows of the soul). Parapsychology is the reason they maintain so much control over anyone they establish eye contact with - or any other contact with. That is one the reasons they are so terrifying and terrorizing to those who encounter them.
The stage is being set for a time when Satan will play his ace trump - at a time when he will give this cosmos world everything he has. And that will be the ultimate lie. It will be a total and complete lie with materializing of supernatural aliens from outer space - and other lying wonders, based totally on empiricism, totally and diametrically opposed to faith. Along with it will come a message for world “unity” and “peace” and “harmony” that will “make sense” based on rationalism. It will be an outrageous counterfeit, demanding total slavery of the human race to cooperate and surrender to it. It will totally terrorize this world with a fear that will deceive the world into accepting his vicious plot, to receive the mark of the beast, denying everything anyone ever stood for, and become a part of his system with the threat of outrageous terror and death. He will play his ace trump with a plan to terrify this world into denying Christ - the author of faith - with a promise of false dependency on a system based on lies and false hopes - a social “security system” which is about as secure as our Social Security System. (How ironic. The warning is screaming in our ears!) If we expect money to do for us what only God can do, then money has become our god.
The choice is ours. It is not only our choice at that time when the last card is played, but it is our choice right now. It is our choice to put our trust in a system built on money and artificial security, or put our trust in the One who supplies all our needs. Many boast that they will never “take the mark” if the time ever comes for them, yet they continue to trust in credit, banking systems, pension plans, insurance companies, welfare projects, and a million other forms of false security. We must make up our mind now - not later. We must make up our mind now - whether that time ever comes for us or not. We must put our trust in Him if we are to believe what He did for us, and continues to do for us every day of our lives.
If we trust Him for our salvation future, we need to demonstrate it by our lifestyle now. Anything less is hypocrisy, and we are mere hearers of the Word and not doers of it.
The Little Drummer Boy
The Little Drummer boy, it seemed
Had not a single gift to bring
No money, things, or abilities
No favors, deeds, or works that please
He knew, you see, it would do no good
For no amount he did, or ever could
Ever measure up to some
Who might be rich or from where they'd come
Some might be from a wealthy past
Or royalty and domain that's vast
Some may think that skills they learned
Will count for points they think they've earned
Some may come with working hands
And think their Saviour understands
That the more they do, the more they give
Is better than the way they live
The Little Drummer Boy, you see
Was no different from you or me
It was not his playing or the way he'd sing
But the love he had for the newborn King
God's not looking for those who feel
That things they do will ever appeal
In spite of you trying and doing your best
Your love for Him is His one request
Copyright 1994 David Film.
Yes, Virginia...
If you think "Miracle on 34th Street" gives any credibility to Santa Claus, you haven't seen
anything!
The following are 39 absolutely bonafide listings of Santa Claus and his extensive enterprises:
1-Santa Claus' House - St. Nicholas Drive, P.O. Box 57074, North Pole, AK 99705.
2-Santa Claus, Inc. - 824 E. 6th St., San Bernardino, CA 91764
3-Santa Claus Hotline - 3720 N. Norwood Rd., Huntington, IN 46750.
4-Santa Claus - Manchester Rd., St. Louis, MO 63143. PH: 314-645-4262.
5-Santa Claus - 408 Ransom St., Ottumwa, IA, 52501 PH:515-684-5952
6-Santa Claus for Hire - P.O. Box 165384, Sacramento, CA 95827
7-Santa Claus' North Pole - Redwood, MN, 56283 PH:507-641-2222
8-Santa Claus Rentals - 2021 W. Governor's Circle, Houston, TX.
9-Santa Claus, North Plano - 3415 Custer Rd., Plano, TX 75023
10-Operation Santa Claus - Reindeer Ranch - 4355 W. Highway 126, Redmond OR, 97756
11-Operation Santa Claus - Anaheim, CA 92801
12-Santa Claus & the Easter Bunny, Addison, TX 675001
13-Santa Claus & Company - Mesa, AZ, 85040
14-Santa Claus' Workshop - Bay Avenue, Highlands, NJ 07732
15-Santa Claus Anonymous (He's not very anonymous!) 10 E. Baltimore St., Baltimore, MD
During the rest of the year:
16-Santa Claus Year Around, P.O. Box 2831, Ewa Beach, Hawaii, 96706
In order to subsidize his living expenses for the other 11 months, we have:
17-Santa Claus Auto Sales - Los Angeles, CA 90023
18-Santa Claus Productions - Los Angeles, CA 90025
19-Santa Claus Productions - Culver City, CA 90232
20-Santa Claus Minit Mart - Lyons, GA, 30406
21-Santa Claus Motel - Lyons, GA, 30406
22-Santa Claus Fitness Center (?), Dale, IN, 47532
23-Santa Claus Trains - Covington, KY 41015
24-Santa Claus Parade - Toronto, Ontario
25-Santa Claus Chamber of Commerce - Dale, IN,47523
26-Santa Claus Entertainment - North Hollywood, CA91601
27-Santa Claus Publishing - Hilsdale, MI 49242
28-Santa Claus Town Hall - Dale, IN 47523
29-39 Santa Claus Campground, Santa Claus Fire Dept., Santa Claus Medical Center, Santa
Claus Pizza, Santa Claus Sewer Plant, Santa Claus Water Treatment Plant, Santa Claus
Community Center, Santa Claus Maintenance, Santa Claus Quarter Horses, Santa Claus
Restaurant, Santa Claus United Methodist Church ..... all in Santa Claus, Indiana,
Let him know if you would like a complete list of Santa Clauses. After all, he added you to his!
For $1 I will send you a picture of his Alaska driver's license, with his name (Kris Kringel). He even has a CDL.
The Life After Christmas
Christmas Eve was the night, and boy, was it nice.
Not a creature was stirring, not even the mice.
But the children were puzzled when to them it was said
That their dad wasn't there when they all went to bed.
Dad, you see, was busy that night
Planning the appearance of someone in flight.
I suppose you might guess who that someone will be
But the kids in the end will never guess it was he.
Up the drainpipe he shimmied, and onto the roof
And stomping around to sound like more than one hoof
“Now Dandy, now Candy, now Dondie, now Vicksie,
Whoa Comie, whoa Cupie, Whoa Grommet, whoa Trixie”
The children quickly jumped from their beds
To satisfy curious thoughts in their heads.
They ran to the window to discover the noise
In hopes that St. Nick had arrived with their toys.
There in the moonlight shadow on the ground
Was St. Nick on the roof, but he hardly was round!
With a shortage of Santa costumes that night
Would explain why his suit didn't fit him too tight.
Reindeer or not, he was doing his job,
Although the scene did look a bit odd.
Down the chimney he jumped, as quick as a lick
But I doubt it's the one and only St. Nick.
Down the stairs the kids went with nary a peep
For St. Nick, you see thinks they're still asleep
They watched as he landed with ashes and soot
And with violent reactions to hot sparks on his foot.
It just didn't seem like the scene they all knew
It's just not an act that St. Nick tries to do.
This skinny St. Nick tried to act like “Old Pro”
With his “hee hee hee’s” trying to sound like “Ho Ho”
He talked as he kidded them with this humorous gag
Emptying the presents from the plastic trash bag.
He had to think fast when he noticed their look
Of suspicion and doubt that he was going by the book.
He told them his helpers who were back at the shop
Worked hard up to now, and that things were on top.
But a few nights ago they were up to old tricks
As they went on strike, leaving him in a fix.
So he'd been up all hours working hard for this night
Planning his route for a schedule so tight.
When you're on your own, you have a good reason
Why one billion homes might take you all season!
I suppose by now you have figured the rest -
Santa Claus to us is a figment at best.
But the problem with us is we don't want to leave
Our own little world of all make-believe.
There are too many things out there we should face
And we don't get involved in running the race.
We all think this world is doing just fine -
And what's yours is yours - what's mine is mine.
The moral to St. Nick we should all hold so dear, is
Face reality my child, so you can prepare
For a job He is waiting to give you to do
In a world He is waiting to walk with you through.
It's not to St. Nick I'm referring of course,
But to Jesus, God's Son, with omnipotent force.
All things He can do if the willing one goes,
And you know, for eternity that it's YOU that He chose.
© 1993 David Film.
Handy Household Hints
A sealed envelope - put in the freezer for a few hours, then slide a knife under the flap. The envelope can then be resealed. (hmmmmmm...)
> Use empty toilet paper rolls to store appliance cords. It keeps them neat and you can write on the roll what appliance it belongs to.
> For icy door steps in freezing temperatures: get warm water and put Dawn dishwashing liquid in it. Pour it all over the steps. They won't refreeze. (Wish I had known this for the last 40 years!)
> To remove old wax from a glass candle holder, put it in the freezer for a few hours. Then take the candle holder out and turn it upside down. The wax will fall out.
> Crayon marks on walls? This worked wonderfully! A damp rag, dipped in baking soda. Comes off with little effort (elbow grease that is!).
> Permanent marker on appliances/counter tops (like store receipt BLUE!) rubbing alcohol on paper towel.
> Whenever I purchase a box of S.O.S Pads, I immediately take a pair of scissors and cut each pad in half! After years of having to throw away rusted and unused and smelly pads, I finally decided that this would be much more economical. And now a box of S.O.S pads last me indefinitely! In fact, I have noticed that the scissors get sharpened this way!
> Blood stains on clothes? Not to worry! Just pour a little hydrogen peroxide on a cloth and proceed to wipe off every drop of blood. Works every time! Now, where to put the body? LOL
> Use vertical strokes when washing windows outside and horizontal for inside windows. This way you can tell which side has the streaks. Straight vinegar will get outside windows really clean. Don't wash windows on a sunny day. They will dry too quickly and will probably streak.
> Spray a bit of perfume on the light bulb in any room to create a lovely light scent in each room when the light is turned on.
> Place fabric softener sheets in dresser drawers and your clothes will smell freshly washed for weeks to come. You can also do this with towels and linens.
> Candles will last a lot longer if placed in the freezer for at least 3 hours prior to burning.
> To clean artificial flowers, pour some salt into a paper bag and add the flowers. Shake vigorously as the salt will absorb all the dust and dirt and leave your artificial flowers looking like new! Works like a charm!
> To easily remove burnt on food from your skillet, simply add a drop or two of dish soap and enough water to cover bottom of pan, and bring to a boil on stovetop.
> Spray your TUPPERWARE with nonstick cooking spray before pouring in tomato based sauces and there won't be any stains.
> Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.
> When boiling corn on the cob, add a pinch of sugar (no salt) to help bring out the corn's natural sweetness.
> Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.
> Don't throw out all that leftover wine: Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces. Left over wine? What's that?!
> To get rid of itch from mosquito bites, try applying soap on the area and you will experience instant relief.
> Ants, ants, everywhere .... Well, they are said to never cross a chalk line. So get your chalk out and draw a line on the floor ants tend to march. See for yourself.
> Use air-freshener to clean mirrors. It does or wherever a good job and better still, leaves a lovely smell to the shine.
> When you get a splinter, reach for the scotch tape before resorting to tweezers or a needle. Simply put the scotch tape over the splinter, then pull it off. Scotch tape removes most splinters painlessly and easily.
> Clean a toilet. Drop in two Alka Seltzer tablets, wait twenty minutes, brush and flush. The citric acid and effervescent action clean vitreous China.
> Clean a vase. To remove a stain from the bottom of a glass vase or cruet, fill with water and drop in two Alka Seltzer tablets.
> Polish jewelry. Drop two Alka Seltzer tablets into a glass of water and immerse the jewelry for two minutes.
> Clean a thermos bottle. Fill the bottle with water, drop in four Alka Seltzer tablets, and let soak for an hour (or longer, if necessary).
> Unclog a drain. Clear the sink drain by dropping three Alka Seltzer tablets down the drain followed by a cup of Heinz White Vinegar. Wait a few minutes, then run the hot water.
Math in the US
Teaching Math In 1950
>A logger sells a truckload of lumber for
$100. His
>cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his
>profit?
>
>
>Teaching Math In 1960
>A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His
>cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or $80. What
>is his profit?
>
>
>Teaching Math In 1970
>A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His
>cost of production is $80. Did he make a profit?
>
>
>Teaching Math In 1980
>A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His
>cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20 Your
>assignment: Underline the number 20.
>
>
>Teaching Math In 1990
>A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is
>selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the
>habitat of animals or the preservation of our
>woodlands. He does this so he can make a profit of
>$20. What do you think of this way of making a living?
>Topic for
class participation after answering the
>question: How did the birds and squirrels feel as the
>logger cut down their homes? (There are no wrong
>answers.)
>
>
>Teaching Math In 2006
>Un ranchero vende una carretera de madera por $100.
>El cuesto de la produccion era $80. Cuantos tortillas
>se puede comprar?
Have A Good Day....
Dear Mom, Our camp counselor told us all to write to our parents in case you saw the flood on TV and worried. We are OK. Only 1 of our tents and 2 sleeping bags got washed away. Luckily, none of us got drowned because we were all up on the mountain looking for Chad when it happened. Oh yes, please call Chad's mother and tell her he is OK. He can't write because of the cast. I got to ride in one of the search and rescue jeeps. It was neat. We never would have found him in the dark if it hadn't been for the lightning. Uncle John got mad at Chad for going on a hike alone without telling anyone. Chad said he did tell him, but it was during the fire so he probably didn't hear him.
Did you know that if you put gas on a fire, the gas can will blow up? The wet wood still didn't burn, but one of our tents did. Also some of our clothes. Joey is going to look weird until his hair grows back. We will be home on Saturday if Uncle John gets the car fixed. It wasn't his fault about the wreck. The brakes worked OK when we left. Uncle John said that a car that old you have to expect something to break down; that's probably why he can't get insurance on it. We think it's a neat car. He doesn't care if we get it dirty, and if it's hot, sometimes he lets us ride on the tailgate. It gets pretty hot with 10 people in a car. He let us take turns riding in the trailer until the highway patrolman stopped and talked to us.
Uncle John is a neat guy. Don't worry, he is a good driver. In fact, he is teaching Terry how to drive. But he only lets him drive on the mountain roads where there isn't any traffic. All we ever see up there are logging trucks. This morning all of the guys were diving off the rocks and swimming out in the lake. Uncle John wouldn't let me because I can't swim and Chad was afraid he would sink because of his cast, so he let us take the canoe across the lake. It was great. You can still see some of the trees under the water from the flood. Uncle John isn't crabby like some counselors. He didn't even get mad about the life jackets. He has to spend a lot of time working on the car so we are trying not to cause him any trouble.
Guess what? We have all passed our first aid merit badges. When Dave dove in the lake and cut his arm, we got to see how a tourniquet works. Also Wade and I threw up. Uncle John said it probably was just food poisoning from the leftover chicken, he said they got sick that way with the food they ate in prison. I'm so glad he got out and become our counselor. He said he sure figured out how to get things done better while he was doing his time. I have to go now. We are going into town to mail our letters and buy bullets. Don't worry about anything. We are fine. Love, Cole
Source unknown
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