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GENTLE HEART MINISTRIES
HEALING TESTAMONY  Gentle Heart Ministries
 HEALING TESTAMONY Gentle Heart Ministries
A Healing From Severe Fibromyalgia
A healing from fibromyalgia, and severe pain due to injuries that happened to me in the 1980’s. I fell down three times; injuring my left knee and hip. Pulling all the ligaments, and tendons around my bones. Then about four years later I fell down a flight of stairs injuring my left side again and splitting my tailbone in two for one year I was in the most severe pain. That year went into years and years of severe pain. I cried and prayed, asked others to pray, I visited healing lines. I went to the Doctors who did not know what to do for me. Finally they diagnosed me with fibromyalgia, and Osteo Arthritis. They prescribed for me a lot of medicine that worked at times, changing them as my pain worsened. All of these pills came along with their own set of side affects. Some times the pain would go into remission, and just as quickly appear again. I remember wondering was God punishing me for some sin I could not see or was not aware of? I searched my soul with gut wrenching agony; saying over and over Father in Jesus name please forgive me? Nothing happened to change the pain andI slowly began to sink into a cloud of accepting my pain as a thorn in my flesh. Yet the Holy Spirit would comfort me, and not allow me to stay in condemnation. I know I am not worthy of such Awesome Mercy, Compassion, or Grace, and His Forgiveness. Yet God spoke to me that we His children are worthy, of His healing touch. When my husband and I went to see The Passion of Christ, and after witnessing the whipping post enactment,in some unknown way my heart was touched to a greater depth of His healing power. Forty years ago I walked the road of Calvary with Christ I accepted Him as my Lord and Savior. You can read of my walk to Calvary in the poem I wrote: Do you know Jesus? In the last few years only, I had came to a great test,and struggle in areas of healing. I believed in healing and prayed many times for people to be healed and many times they were. I don’t know why I was struggling in this area of my faith in regards to healing for myself? I was suffering with depression and God healed me of that. That was five years ago, that I was healed from depression. So many times in the early days of my walk with Him I was healed. He healed me of alcoholism, Anorexia Nervosa; He healed my broken heart and spirit. So it was not that I did not believe in healing, it was just that I was struggling in the area of His healing me from pain. I would say for almost ten years God took me through a time of testing my faith in regards to Him wanting to heal me from the pain in my body. You see He wants to heal us all; yet sometimes we just can not believe we are worthy of His divine healing. In October this year after suffering through a horrible virus, God so mercifully healed the cause and delivered me from pain. I gave myself three months before I decided to post this testimony. I wanted to make sure this time I was totally healed. I am sure beyond a doubt it is true! Amen!! WHAT GOD HAS DONE LASTS FOREVER (ECCLESIASTES 3:14) I know that whatever GOD does it endures for ever; nothing can be added to it, nor anything taken from it; and GOD does it so that men will (reverently) fear HIM--know that He is, revere and worship HIM. (Amplified Version of the Holy Bible) (Psalm 26:7) (King James Version) That I may publish with the voice of thanksgiving, and tell of all thy wondrous works. (Psalm 40:5) (King James Version) Many, O LORD my God, are thy wonderful works which thou hast done, and thy thoughts which are to us-ward: they cannot be reckoned up in order unto thee: if I would declare and speak of them, they are more than can be numbered. (Psalm 111:4) (King James Version) He hath made his wonderful works to be remembered: the LORD is gracious and full of compassion. A Poem About His Healing Touch If I Could Just Touch The Hem Of His Garment If I could just touch the hem of His garment I would be freed of my pain and my torment If I could but touch the hem of His garment I would be healed in just one moment If I could look in His beautiful eyes To see how He loves me as he passes by If I could bow down at His beautiful feet Commune with His heart beat after beat He does not require much A heart the yearns to seek him as such Lord I reach out to You, in my body there is such pain I felt your healing flow over me like the sweet smelling rain You beckoned me forth your healing to receive I fell down before you with faith I believe Lord how your mercy encircle those you love Raining down your mercy from heaven above Let the healing mercies flow upon us your mercies we long to know Help our faith in you to grow and grow Send down Your healing rain Deliver your children from pain Soft Petals Of Poetry By Ruthie ©® 2004 A Testimony Of Healing From Depression This is my testamony of how,God healed me from depression. I want to share this as God has shown me, there is a great need in His Church, for deliverance from depression. He wants to bring us up and out so, He can use us to bring glory to His name. It is God's longing desire to see His, beloveds set free. Women, and men both are plagued with depression. Christians are no exemption from this,hideous disease. I would just like to add, if you are a Christian suffering with depression? (Do not be ashamed) God sees you there and he longs to, bring you in close, to His loving embrace. He sees your pain His beloved one,and He want to bring you peace, and speak to the inward storms in your life. Storms that may often cause us, to give into deep bouts of depression. It is no sin to be ill as a Christian no matter what anyone tells you. They are not God, and they do not know, or understand, the purposes of God. His ways, and His thoughts are so much higher than our thoughts and ways. Nor does God punish us for our sins, with illness, otherwise there are some mighty, evil people going unpunished. As His beloved child, I know it breaks, His heart to see us depressed, because He loves us so dearly! When we pray, and pray, and go though every healing line, and the answer is not there. Remember this precious one, when you, just reach out and to your Heavenly Father like a child, telling Him about your pain, or illness His heart is touched by compassion for you. Then after weeks or possibly a month or so go by you will realize you are well, and you will become amazed, and filled with praise and adoration.Your mind conceives you have been healed. How amazing is our GOD? This is how I recieved all my healings, just recently I have been healed from fibromyalgia. I will add this testimony later, but for now I will continue my healing from depression. I was on one of my deep depressions, crying, and whining to God modes. When all of a sudden I heard this man crying loudly. I suddenly stopped my crying,and became very still, and quiet, then in my spirit I saw that it was Jesus. I walked over to where he was and I knelt down beside Himand said O’ My Savior; I will never make you cry again. (This was an inward vision) Although it may not be our fault we are sick. I do believe however if we remain in our illness, because we are comfortable there. Without giving, (The Great Physician our burdens,and a chance to heal us, borders on sin and disbelief.) We can not camp in our illness, when we have been set free, because we become comfortable there. I believe it will lead to further illness, just as I believe obeying God brings further healing. The Holy Spirit in the still small inward voice, began to speak to me about my depression. He began to show me, HE was going to heal me, and bring me out to victory from depression. He wants to deliver us so that we will be able, to help others who may be going through depression. One Sunday my friend and I decided to visit a Church, in the evening. When walking in the door to go, to another church, in the same building. There was a group of ladies standing, at the door of another room and invited us in. Being the brave ones we are ready to face anything ( HA HA!) So anyway we thought what could it hurt, we walked into this room of strange women, at least that was how they seemed to us. They had their precious babies, and children, with them,dancing and marching around in God's river of Life. They were walking back and forth praising God, prophesying or giving words, of wisdom ,and knowledge. We began to think what have we gotten ourselves into? I don’t remember who said this to me, but one of the ladies said "you are a prophet, and poet and you write beautiful poems". Well that got my attention, as that was what I was doing. Then another lady said to me God wants you need to come out of that darkened room. Say what!! What are you saying? Are you saying I am in darkness, I was very indignant indeed, and I spoke rather harshly. I tell you I am a Christian, there is no darkness in me. Yes my children there is no darkness, in those who are born again, and filled with His Spirit. Yet the message was not that I was in darkness, but that I was hiding in a soft comforting room, of darkness called depression! Most of my life since I was very young, I have suffered with depression. About six month later when my friend and I, went to Good Friday Services the same year. She said to me Ruthie do you remember, those ladies in that room where we attended Church? I answered her yes I do ever since that Sunday Evening, I have been delivered of my deep depression. When I try to retreat into that dark softened room, it is no longer in me!!! It has been torn down, and abolished, by the Holy Spirit for eternity! Praise His Holy name forever More!! PRAISE THE LORD JESUS CHRIST FOR THE VICTORY! (More about my Testimony of victory over depression) I finally had to admit to myself, and others that I was in deep depression. It just seemed so much easier to hide,in my depression than to face it head on. When problems overwhelmed me I would go into,that darkened room, (as it was called)by The Holy Spirit. It became a refuge, and a place of comfort to me there I did not have to face, whatever trial was coming my way. I would fall into sleep, I would not answer anyone, who tried to ommunicate with me. My husband would say,what is wrong with you honey? My answer I’m just depressed leave me alone, he would answer well I guess. I would just zone out and hide. Better than freaking out!! Don't you think? (Just a little laughter here) There were no particular reasons, for my depression sometimes, but mostly it was brought on,when I felt overwhelmed, by the problems going on around me. Whether it was something that was a problem, with my children, or my marriage, or spiritual life, "whatever"! If it was a problem. I had my way of hiding from it, the only thing though the problems never went away. I would unplug my phone and go to bed and sleep, and sleep some more. Hiding in my depression I never ever faced, any issues I had to face in my life. I just hid from everything! I just want to say here when I,first became a Christian, and gave my life to the Lord Jesus in 1966. I was delivered from that depression and, I learned to be strong in the Holy Spirit. When I was divorced from my children’s father, I began to back away from God. Depression became something, that kept me from doing God’s will. I had excuses for everything I did, and I never took any responsibility,for my humdrum actions. When I rededicated my life,to full time service in 1988. God began a process of, delivering me from depression. But I still hung on tothe soft darkened room. After a while I did not even, realize I was depressed, I was just being me! Ha! Ha! (Another laughter break) In 1998, when I began to play my Autoharp, and sing praise’s in songs. God began a deliverance process in me. I played my Autoharp that had been under my bed, or in storage for 14 years or more. I brought it out and the presence of God, and Angelic beings became very real to me. I would play my Autoharp sing, and weep, and sing, and weep, my little Appalachian harp,was baptized with tears. To this day you can still see,all the tear stains there. Now I have a new harp and it, has a few tear stains as well. I am not ashamed to share with you, that I suffered with deep depression. Yet I did and God gave me victory, from that kind of depression. For that I am eternally grateful. My Savior delivered me here a little, and there a little,as I played my music to him. O' and yes I had to face my problems,head on and learn to make boundaries. I had to learn to say no, to whoever was trying to bring me down with their own problems. Often times my friends and children, would vent on me to find release, of their own life trials. A lot of my depression was brought on by, the rest of the dysfunctional people in my life. People who were unable to face, their own trials and problems. They thought that Miss Ruthie,was the fix it lady, and Miss Ruthie thought she was too! So on top of my own depression it became hard, for me to deal,to say the least! I have been free from depression for sometime now. My heart is filled to overflowing with Gods joy, and love! I can laugh and joke with the best of them. Our Heavenly Father used my harp, and song, to bring deep inward healing, to all my hurting places. I would sit for hours and sing, and play, my Autoharp and the healing presence of God flowed. Music with the power of God and Prayer. Allows the healing power of God, to flow out in His healing power. The Lord Jesus gave me Poem, after Poem, and beautiful songs to sing. Songs that came straight down from heaven, that brought healing in waves of His glory. That is where a lot of my writings, Poems, and Prophecy's, came from It was in the Year of 1998, when He completed His healing from,depression in me. The same year I also began to write. In November 1998 I opened the internet ministry. I know God uses the writings He gave me, to minister to many of His children who need, a healing touch from depression; and other things that shackle our lives. Now my friends and family say I should be a comedian. They laugh at things I say, and laugh when they are around me. God has given me His Joy, and I gaurd it with my life. I pray He reaches out right now, and fills you full of His wonderful joy! I am free and it helps me to show others, how they can be free from depression also. Because God! Our God! Has given me back my joy for mourning! He has given me beauty for ashes, and a spirit of praise for a spirit of heaviness. My Poetry and Songs tell a story of the different times in my life. It tells a story of my trials then, but that was then and this is the now! God has given me a heart, and life filled with joy! I will not say that, I never have down times, I do! That is normal and human to say any thing other would be wrong! I believe when we receive Jesus as our Savior, it is just the start of our growth and development, in our spiritual lives. I also believe it takes all the rest, of our natural lives to get rid of the damage, that has happened in our earthly lives. I feel that we as Christians sometimes put to many unrealistic demands on other Christians. We need to leave room for growth, and development, growth comes when we make mistakes and go through trials. God runs to us and picks us up and kisses away all the pain, He is wonderful like that. He allows us space for growth, we should do the same, that is called forgiveness, and kindness in action. Sometimes when we find ourselves coming up short.We turn around and walk away. Instead we should be drawing into Christ, who is the Great Overcomer in us. Sister’s, Brothers, let us be kind, and long suffering, knowing that we ourselves at times fall short. (John 16: 33) (kjv) These things I have spoken unto you,that in me you might have peace. In the world you shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world. Amen! God bless you!!! May your hearts be filled, to over flowing with his joy. I pray you never have depression, yet if you do? Don't walk away from the Great Overcomer! Jesus can deliver you and make you,strong against adversity! Like a mighty oak tree planted by the (Living Waters), you shall not be moved! I would just like to say a short prayer now for you. Dear Heavenly Father, I know that depression is our enemy and I know Christians suffer with it as well as anyone else. King David had his times of depression,and You said he was a man after Your own heart. Lord I ask you to bless everyone who is passing by this way, and might be reading this Testimony and Poem, and is now suffering with depression. Lord I ask that you might touch them with your healing power? In The Name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth I pray! I love you and Jesus loves you! Shalom from the God of Israel, and the Church of Jesus Christ! Depressions darkened room! There in the darkened room Where human eyes can't see There in the darkened room is where you come to me There where my eyes are so full of tears I cannot see I ask you lord how has depression shackled me Lord please tell me now Lord won't you please I feel Your tender hands, reach out to comfort me I hear your voice so soft and low as you gently stroke my brow You ask me child what is wrong why do you worry so I don't know how to answer you lord but as I look deep in you eyes I can see you already know Yes; Lord you know all about me and long to set my spirit free You long to give me joy, and gladness, and release the real me You know my every heartbreak I know you understand release the shackles as I take my victory stand Thank you Lord for caring for me You have so much mercy,and compassion for me There in the darkened room, where human eyes can not see That is where you come in power to save me There in the darkened room I just close my eyes and wonder if I have gone mad I see you shining brightly You have made my heart so glad There in the darkness I see you shining as a bright light There you have brought me deliverance from fright There together lord we have fought the demons and won Now I 'm standing Lord with you in the bright sun We are the victors Lord the battle over depression we have won Thank you for setting my spirit free!! Soft Petals Of Poetry by Ruthie, 1976-2000, © rep
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