GOD'S FAITHFULNESS
GOD'S FAITHFULNESS
"Oceanfront"
Copyright © 2002 Paul Gentry and Rhesa Siregar
Songs of Praise
I want to share with you that my testimony is presented with the most recent additions at the start of the page all the way down to the past.
FROM SEED TO BUMPER CROP
The most present testimony not yet added is that when I first met my husband fifteen years ago at a church I started to visit, he came up to me and said the Lord put a burden on his heart for my son and that he was fasting and praying for him all week! Then we all started sitting together because Levi was really attracted to the joy of the Lord on my husband. We'd sit together with Levi in between us every week and one week Levi pulled our heads together like he wanted us joined! One week the Lord had me give Lee a really nice men's ring and it was a seed planted for his prosperity. Not long ago Lee was homeless sleeping on the beach and he got saved at a Christian coffee shop. He was always willing to work and never begged for money like the other homeless who spent it on beer.
My husband said he was going to buy me a Cadillac some day, and I would say sure. I never desired one. So after Lee got knocked off a loading dock three years ago, the Lord led him to file suit, and he was blessed by the Lord with enough to get completely out of debt, pay off his house, and buy me a brand new Cadillac!
God is faithful. So when you are led to plant a seed from the Lord, be ready for a bumper crop to come with enough to bless others!!!
Love in Christ, Yolanda
BEING SET FREE FROM CAPTIVITY
A Testimony of God’s Faithfulness
Set free on: August 20, 2008 at 1:15 p.m.
I’m free!!! I have been acquitted of the crime of murder by the Sovereign Judge of the land, and by the grace of God I saw this as truth and received it and walked out of the prison that I had built and stayed in for close to thirty-two years!!! It is hard to share these specific details, but because of all the captives that need to be set free, I will go forth with this!
After I had an abortion, I had stuffed it so deep and never faced the fact of what I had done. Not long afterward I went into a severe depression and started taking antidepressant. I thought the side effect of the drug was a year of nightmares. I had so much fear that it felt like I actually lifted a few inches off my bed at night. I never related these manifestations with the actual act of abortion!
I had so much fear that all I could see in my life was evil. I ran into a lady at a laundry mat that asked me if I knew Jesus, and I said that I knew satan because of all the evil that I experienced in my life. At the same time my mother was going through a nervous breakdown a while after she brought me and my son to a movie, The Exorcist! My son was only an infant at the time, so you see what kind of home life we had.
My mother manifested effects of demon possession, and it was like seeing the movie in real life. I had so much fear! I could feel evil even when I entered her house! I couldn’t handle the whole situation on top of all the suppressed guilt from the abortion, so I started going to the bar to drink from 11:00 a.m. to 3:00 a.m. with a little break at supper time! I had even left my son with my mother in the state she was in!
I was separated from Levi’s father, and during this time I had gotten in trouble with the abortion. I was so afraid that he would find out that I was pregnant and take away my son so I didn’t know what to do! After the abortion I had so much guilt of being an unfit mother that I prepared to give up my son to his blood father. After I had packed the back of his truck with Levi’s belongings, I called up my boyfriend and told him what I was doing. He said to get all Levi’s things out of that truck because he was going to marry me and I was to keep my son!!!
During our marriage I struggled so badly and ended up smoking marijuana with this husband! I remember some time during all this that I did ask the Lord to forgive all my sins and I felt in my heart that I desired to live for Him!!! After I asked the Lord for forgiveness of all my sins, the extreme guilt that caused my depression and the feeling that I was an unfit mother actually rolled off of my shoulders, and I got set free of depression, but not free of fear from what I suppressed.
Even though I had been born again, I continued to struggle with alcohol, marijuana, and I smoked cigarettes. I kept on getting convicted of smoking that I was actually asking for forgiveness before I would light up a cigarette. I knew I could not continue this way so I repented of this, and the Lord took away not only the desire to smoke cigarettes, but also the desire to drink and smoke marijuana!!! During this marriage the Lord showed me that it wasn’t His perfect will to stay married to this man!
So I had to go back to my mother’s house to live!!! The whole time I lived there I went through constant struggles with contention and ended up getting in so many heated battles with my mother. I was constantly hindered in trying to live for the Lord and to be able to get my life together where I could have a babysitter and go to work. When I was lost, my mother watched my son so I could go to the bar, but when I was trying to follow the Lord, she would not support me. So I knew I had to step out of this sinful situation and get my own place. The Lord faithfully provided a place I could afford, and my father felt led to help me financially!!
I went to church for many years but I was so afraid of people!! I was so tormented on every side but I still struggled to get free. I felt like a bird in a cage, but I knew one day I would be free, and I kept my eyes on that truth even though I felt so bound up. Even though I had gone through much prayer, I was still bound so bad that I was afraid to eat with people, and also I had a hard time taking the bread and cup out of the hand of another Christian, not knowing why I was so afraid and so full of shame when I had asked for forgiveness for everything I knew of.
I know this is getting really long, but my testimony comes in layers. This is only a minute portion of the deliverance that it took to even get this far!!! I could write a book of all the Lord had done in my life!!! Okay, where am I?
I met my husband that the Lord gave me at a church I started to visit. The same week that I went there he came up to me and said that he had been praying and fasting for my son all week! We all began sitting together, mainly Levi sitting with him! Because of the expression of Joy my husband released, my son was drawn to him, and he started showing emotion of tears and laughter when he never did before. This got his teacher’s attention, and she asked me what was going on. Levi’s countenance and how he held his shoulders and walked all was changing. God was giving him a father and my husband adopted Levi when he was twenty-one.
We brought Levi to a Christian doctor who specialized in autism, and we made an appointment for consultation and prayer for direction as to what the doctor would do for us. The only thing the doctor got from the Lord is that there was an area of my life I never properly dealt with, and this was a hindrance to Levi’s deliverance. Immediately I knew what the area was. Even though I had asked for forgiveness, I never really accepted what I had done, or did I receive forgiveness. I was led to go to the other coast of Florida where this ministry dealt with the after effects of abortion. They could barely scratch the surface of my problem, but years after this, I was able to minutely look at the impact of the sin of murder, what I could handle to receive, but then I would deeply stuff it again because the reality of it almost made me lose my mind.
I was led to try to accept the fact that my baby had died and tried to begin a grieving process. I wrote my baby girl, Alicia Marie, a letter, and I felt that she had forgiven me, but still I continued to stuff it, and continued to build stronger prison walls around me!!! This was going on to be thirty two years, and I battled severe fear of going to a doctor where he had noticed that I had a huge fibroid tumor I had for twelve years when I had cursed my life and invited demons to come in to kill me!!! I wanted to die but I knew I could not commit suicide!
I started praying why am I so afraid to go to the doctor, why so much shame!! The Lord showed me the last time I had ever gone to a gynecologist was when I had the abortion!!! The thought of any exam terrified me. I battled so much shame one morning recently that I thought I was going to die, but the enemy made me feel that I wasn’t to share this with my close friend in the Lord, but this was the one God used to set me free!! I told her how I felt, and she couldn’t understand why I still battled if I asked the Lord to forgive me. Then she asked me if I had received forgiveness from the Lord, and I said that I couldn’t understand why other murderers were in prison and I was not!!!
What the Lord did to bring me to the place where I could understand His justice and mercy was this experience. I was coming home from a church meeting an hour away at midnight, and I ended up going on a major highway that had a lot of construction going on. I missed my regular turn off and had to get off on an exit I wasn’t familiar with at night. I ended up going up the wrong side on a one way highway and had to jump the median to get with the traffic going in the right direction. I was so upset that when I got to the road I had to turn to go home, I was in the wrong lane again, and turned anyway. Here comes two police cars with a dog ready to take me to the police station.
Even though I couldn’t find my driver’s license nor could I remember my street name after I found my licence, registration and insurance card, while he was calling in the information, I prayed for mercy from the Lord. When the policeman got back and I explained my situation, he understood and had mercy and he let me go!!! My girlfriend couldn’t believe that I went free when she had received a ticket for $140 for not completely stopping at a stop sign!! That same week the Lord poured out much favor upon me, and I was invited to a special worship service where the main topic of teaching was God’s justice and mercy!
So He had me already prepared to receive what He was going to say to me as He set me free! Yes, He said in terms I could understand why I didn’t have to be in prison, because He being the Sovereign Judge had acquitted me of my crime and I was free to go! I was free to walk out of the prison that I had built around me for thirty-two years! I cried and I laughed with such relief of this revelation, and that is why I now know that the enemy does not have any legal right to hinder my healing and deliverance nor my son’s any longer!
After all this happened, I saw on television a lady who prophesied over Levi when he was around four years old. She saw him as Lazarus, and she saw the grave cloths wrapped around him start to come unwrapped. She said when they completely come unwrapped around his head, he would be in his right mind. Now that the hindrance to Levi’s healing is completely gone and seeing this lady for the first time in thirty years after she prophesied over him, I take all of this as a confirmation of His promise to set Levi completely free that He had released through her.
All glory goes to the Lamb who sits on the throne and the Father who loves us so much!!! Even during one period where my husband was praying the fire over me, I fell on the floor in a fetal position, and I heard a very small voice crying out, “Mommy, no!” over and over again. I was actually acting out deep within me what I felt about my baby and I didn’t even know what it was all about! Because I had taken my baby’s life, I didn’t want to live, but now that I have broken off all the curses of death off of my life, I am free to live the life God gave me, and free to set others free from this same captivity!!!!
BREAKTHROUGH OF GOD'S LOVE
(A Testimony going forth)
Blessings! I just wanted to share what has been happening once again! These last months have been powerful after releasing "the roar". I've seen many powerful moves of His spirit in this area where the worship was glorious enough to lose yourself in, the freedom and the truth coming forth in power, including the Lakeland Revival! I spent the whole week at a crusade where there was only four whites and the rest black, and I never felt so comfortable and loved and encouraged as this week!
I was able to go on a mission with several mature women in the Spirit to protect the gates of Volusia county even though I live in Brevard, I know this was good experience! It was amazing how the Lord even got me there and with Levi! During my time to bend down and cast out and lock the gate, Levi wandered out into the highway with two lane traffic coming both ways! A lady immediately saw him and the Lord actually caused a time warp to take place. The traffic coming both ways were held up in the spirit giving me the time to get Levi out of the road even though he was walking directly into oncoming traffic and not coming to me!!! No car had to blow their horn or slam on brakes or anything!!!
I must remember and as a warning to you that when we are caught up in so much powerful moves of His spirit and being blessed with favor abundant, that is when the enemy is going to come in! The Lord tried to aware me but you know how it is to overlook His still, small voice. But you know all things work together for our good no matter what it is!!!!
What happened is that I went to another powerful meeting but I battled all night and the next day with fear of man and alienation. So I was pretty worn out and crushed in my spirit by an experience I went through with one who was giving into the lies of the enemy and religious spirits. They had come so strong against me that I actually felt overwhelmed. And this same experience happened to another dear sister last week where the Lord had me pray for her!
OK, on to the good part! I was lying on the couch pretty down and I was listening to Rodney Howard Browne on God-TV, and he felt led to start singing these little songs you sing to children, like "Jesus loves me, we have a river flowing out through me, bubble up, and others". These songs started lifting up my spirit man, and I started releasing the burden of oppression in tears, and all of a sudden I started crying to the Lord, "Daddy God, pick me up!" I felt like a small afraid child that wanted to be lifted up. And He did!!! And He nurtured my spirit because I never had parents nurture me with His love!
After this experience ended, I felt so much more stronger and even mature in my whole being! To tell the truth I am over fifty and I had felt so very young! Last week I heard the introduction to a series on love, and God spoke His word so deep that I felt it go right down into my spirit, like going down a deep tunnel! And I told my husband that I felt like a very small child just starting to walk in God's love.
This is what it is all about! There are many in the body of Christ not able to receive God's love deep into their spirit man or can they receive through others in the body His love. Jesus prayed that we would be one as He and His father are one, but at the same time the enemy has done all he can to keep this from happening. Also the river of God's love has been dammed up by the enemy even before we were born. By not being able to receive His love into our spirit in the womb, at birth, as a newborn all the way through life, we never grow up in Him, and that is why we can't get along with anyone, why there are so many divisions, contentions, jealousy, and the list goes on.
We need a breakthrough in our spirit to where we can receive God's love! I pray that all who read this will experience this breakthrough to where they will have mighty times of intimacy with the Father. I pray that we will come to the place where we are able to receive the levels of God's love that we need in order to grow up in Him. I pray that you will be sensitive to the move and be yielded to this deep work of His Spirit. I pray that you will have waterspouts of the deep calling unto deep. I pray that they intensify into a mighty waterfall that breaks into a tidal wave that will sweep away the dams, the debris, the rocks, everything standing in Its way! This river will sweep out to the lost because this Love they will not be able to resist, and they will be able to receive His saving grace!
I transfer this anointing in Jesus name that is upon me accomplishing this work in my spirit man to my dear sisters and brothers in Christ!!!! And I pray this same anointing will be transferred to one to another as this work is starting and going through the process and if we are still here to complete maturity.
I tell you one thing, even though I might be a toddler walking in God's love, I feel so much more stronger than ever in my person! You go from leaps and bounds in growth by this process! God's ways are not our ways, His are so much more profound that we can't even understand the power behind them!!! Because my son Levi wasn't rejected in the womb, at birth, and all the way through his life, I believe he is much more mature in his spirit, than I am. So God knows what He is doing!! Amen?
(Revised on November 28, 2007)
As far back as I can remember I had lived a very isolated life being the only child, but whenever I got a chance I would go off and make friends and stay at people’s house so I could have fellowship with others. My parents didn’t like for me to have friends spend the night, have birthday parties, people over for dinner, encourage me to join extra-curricular activities at school, proms, etc. I was a loner.
I would choose to associate with people who were like the misfits, the ones others wouldn’t choose to be friends with. They were either ugly with scars, emotional unstable, drug users, liars, you name it! It wasn’t because I couldn’t make friends with those who were popular, because I had several of them as friends, but I chose to go with the other type of people. Come to think of it now I know the Lord has called me to minister to the “hard cases” those who were cast aside as impossible. They are too hard to be set free. You know that is where it all started with me. Because of bad choices in life I had allowed myself to get in the worse state. I had gone to a priest for counseling, and he actually said to me that I shouldn’t expect a miracle, I am too messed up!!!! That is when I left the Catholic church, because to me they had nothing to offer.
Okay, bouncing back and forth here! As far back as I can remember I had dabbled in drugs, spot remover, alcohol, etc., as young as twelve years old. I spent all my time after graduation partying instead of getting a job and preparing for my future. And my parents allowed this. I had a terrible home life always in conflict with my mother who had so much fear that I would get in trouble that she accused me of everything even before I did it. This greatly upset me and I made my first bad mistake. I went out and did everything she accused me of!
After years of drug abuse, alcohol, fornication, etc., I ended up pregnant. And I chose to keep my baby and I got married three days before he was born. In this period of time the Lord started working in my heart drawing me close to Him revealing to me that He was the Creator of the universe. This was the first time I started getting interested in nature. I would spend many days outside writing inspirational thoughts and the Lord used a blue jay or others to draw my attention. To me the blue jay at that time was a sign of joy that there was to be new beginnings for me, a sign of a new life coming!
My marriage only lasted for nine months and I had to go home to live with my mother who was in the middle of having a nervous breakdown. Really it was the manifestation of total demon possession! It was like reliving the Exorcist movie in real life! I didn’t know the Lord as my Savior at that time and didn’t have the power to overcome evil. I felt the evil and its effects on my life but couldn’t do anything against it. I was full of fear, and had poor judgment and left my son with my mother many days while I went out drinking at the bar! Because of the severe guilt I had because I felt I was an unfit mother I developed severe depression and had to go to a psychologist and put on anti-depressants.
During this time I remember asking the Lord to forgive all my sins. The burden of guilt actually lifted from me and I started coming out of depression. I actually felt a divine change in my heart and I knew I was going to be walking into a new life! I didn’t know the Word or the power that I had in being a Christian, so most of my life was the same. I met a man at a bar and got married. I almost gave my son up to his father and the Lord intervened by my second husband wanting to marry me so I could keep my son. I am sure we loved each other, but still the marriage was not truly a scriptural one, but God used it on my behalf.
We were married and still I was involved in drugs and alcohol. I was still on anti-depressants and trying to get my life together the best way I knew how, but with little success. I had developed nightmares as a side effect from the anti-depressants and I had so much fear that I felt like I was actually bouncing off the bed because of the demonic oppression. I met a lady in the laundry mat where we lived and she asked me if I knew Jesus. And I said no, that I knew Satan because of all the evil I was seeing in my life with my mother. I went to church with her that night and they prayed the Lord would take away my fear, and that night was the first miracle I had ever received from the Lord. The nightmares actually left after having them for a full year!!!
I started going to churches and bible studies, home fellowship meetings, etc. And I received the baptism of the Holy Spirit with the evidence of speaking in tongues. Before my prayer language manifested I was trying to deal with a temper tantrum my son was having and watching Christian TV at the same time. And suddenly I began speaking out my prayer language. My son stopped what he was doing and stood up looking at me! I remember praying in the middle of the night and I could actually hear the prayer language in me like it was on a loud speaker, and the louder it got, the more my husband tossed and turned through the night!
I got convicted of my sinful lifestyle of drinking, drugs, cigarettes, etc, and in one hour the Lord delivered me of the craving of the marijuana and alcohol, but I still smoked. I remember asking the Lord to forgive me because I was going to smoke a cigarette, and He said if you know it is wrong then I will be willful sinning and I need to repent of it. Right then I said “yes, Lord, and He completely delivered me of the cigarettes.
After all this happened I started getting convicted that my second marriage was not scriptural and being so young in the Lord, I chose to stay with my husband and I turned my back on the Lord. That year I went back to smoking marijuana! But I never lost the Lord’s presence in my life! In one month I blew up our van which wasn’t paid for, the clothes dryer stopped working a week after the warrantee was up, and I sprung the oven door. I knew if I didn’t get my life back with the Lord, we would go bankrupt. I knew I couldn’t leave my husband, so I prayed that he would leave me, and one week later he told me he wanted a divorce. And then I had to go back to my mother’s who was still not right!!!
The two times I had to go back home my parents wouldn’t let me discipline my son. They thought everything he did was cute and interfered terribly. The first time even though I wanted to live right I allowed myself to get frustrated and went to the bar. The second time I chose to live for the Lord and trust Him. I continued to go to church and I believed that the Lord would deliver me of the situation I was in. With all the demonic oppression coming against me through my mother I ended up in heated arguments constantly and I knew I was not overcoming and living in sin.
The Lord found us a nice apartment where I was able to pay the deposit and first month’s rent in three payments. My father said if I moved out he wasn’t going to help me, and I was making very little cleaning houses. But soon after I moved my father helped me financially buying groceries, putting gas in the car, paying for my car insurance, and whatever he could do. I actually had to hide my utilities bills or he would pay them! They came over all the time for dinner and they watched my son while I worked.
But still I had such problems with my mother. Persecution was constant! She was always working against me. Whether it was demons or whatever, it was a constant battle, because I still needed her help either in helping me clean houses or to watch my son. Then my father died and I lost it! I ended up leaving the church not intentionally but because I was spending so much time going out to eat with my mother and going shopping. She gave me a large chunk of my inheritance and I blew most of it. For one year I shopped and ran around not really having a home life and I started feeling wayward. I said this has to stop. So I went to a church and met my husband. The first week he met my son he told me he had a burden for him and was fasting and praying for him. Two months later we were married. The Lord had brought us together spirit to spirit and my husband was such a good husband for my son and adopted him when he was twenty-one.
We’ve been together over thirteen years. When I first met my husband, the Lord put it on my heart to give him a very nice ring and to give it to him as a seed planted for his prosperity. My husband recently was homeless, got saved, and then got a job and an apartment. He didn’t have much but he was faithful to the Lord and a good hard worker. Since then the Lord enabled my husband to go to semi tractor trailer driving school and get his licence. And he has been prospering every since. I know the Lord isn’t through yet! My husband had a bad fall at work. He got knocked off a loading dock and fell four feet on his side right on the concrete. While being out of work for over a year, he had to have surgery on his shoulder and wrist and has slight permanent damage on his back where his right leg is constantly numb. We have to go to court and whatever is the result I know God will be faithful in providing prosperity for us and reimburse all that the enemy tried to steal from us!
We haven’t had an easy life having an adult disabled son who battles autism and epilepsy, but God has been faithful to knit us together in His love and strength through it all. I know the Lord will set Levi free and that he will have a mighty testimony and a mighty ministry setting the captives free. I know God will speak through him the words that will confound the wise! In the natural he does not speak. All glory will go to the Lord because in the natural my son had brain damage at birth, been through a lot of trauma, so there’s need of spiritual, physical, mental, and emotional healing. As we know there is nothing too impossible for Him.
In the natural I was like a bird locked in a cage with all the fears and insecurities that I had and still walk through. We have to keep our eyes on Him and His faithfulness. Deliverance is a walk and I have gone through several levels of deliverance over the years, where I feel I am gradually coming out of that cage. I still battle fear of being around people and doing a lot of things, but I’ve come such a long way. I cannot get discouraged because I still battle so much and keep my eyes on Him and He will lead me through to the victory manifested in my life.
I know I have a powerful calling on my life and that is why the enemy fights me so hard. The Lord said to me “weebles wobble, but they don’t fall down”. He said it in the middle of the night, and I know that’s the way it is. The enemy will try to knock me out but I will not stay down!!!! We are more than conquerors through Christ Jesus!!!
Read my book that has a prophetic testimony of my life in it since I was baptized in the Lord’s spirit. It is what the Lord had to take me through and is still taking me through to catch the vision of how to press in for revival. It is through intimacy and worshiping the Lord. “We Need To Start Somewhere” is a book written to those struggling in the body of Christ to get to the place they need to be where He can move mightily through them. There’s enough meat in there to bless those mature in the Lord and to meet others where they are at. You can download it free at:
until you see "Blessings to you".)
Well, that is it in the nutshell! A large nutshell indeed!
Be blessed!
Love in Christ,
Yolanda
At The Father’s Feet
By Yolanda Ballard
Blessings to you! When I first received the baptism of the Holy Spirit, I was a part of a faith church that taught a lot about getting to the root of our deliverance, walking in holiness, and trusting the Lord for all our needs. The way we all interpreted that was different. Some went to the doctors and had insurance and some did not, but we were all together and believed that the Bible taught that God's perfect will was total faith and trust in Him.
Since then it seems like many of my trials of faith are testing me in endurance. I've been having many long trials where I still don't see the manifestation of the promise yet, but I know the Lord is faithful to take me through the fire to purge out all the dross. I know that much of that dross is coming up in me now, and it is not easy to handle but I must trust Him.
Long ago my son Levi had terrible allergies and I would pray and the Lord would deliver him of such severe trials. One afternoon he would be so bound up in the chest with congestion and with high fever and the next morning he would be completely delivered. Once he broke out with hives all over his body and with fever and the runs. I rebuked these hives that were so large that one would cover his whole back, and I would watch them draw up to nothing and the fever leave. Once as I washed his hair I prayed against a hard knot on his head, left from a hematoma at birth, and under my hand it molded back into place. He walked out trials where the Lord preserved him where his hands and feet and skin color was bright orange. Every once in a while I see this same coloring, but I know the Lord is faithful to sustain him through the trials and restore him completely to health.
Once I saw a blue coloring that encircled his major organs and went up and down his legs and arms. We prayed and felt the Lord directing us to trust Him. Boy, did I have the mind battles that it was poor circulation or blood poisoning. My husband believes the Lord moves through medical science at times, but he felt we were to trust the Lord alone. And one night in the bathtub I noticed that on his side the skin felt like leather when I rubbed it. I took the washcloth in a circular motion and rubbed, and all this blue silt came out into the tub with a strange odor. It was like the Lord had cleansed his system of something. He never had any pain or any other symptoms through that trial.
My husband had to drive his truck through many months of smoke inhalation through forest fires. He had no air condition in his truck and was so open to these toxic fumes. He developed a terrible condition involving his stomach. Every night he had terrible pain and could not keep anything down. He lost so much weight that you could see his bones in his hips, etc. The Lord led him to trust in Him alone. And the Lord completely healed and restored him all his weight back.
We've been trusting the Lord with Levi's trials with autism and epilepsy.. There had been times I didn't think I was going to make it through this one with the demons manifesting violently against me. Levi does not allow the doctor to do anything with him, much less take blood tests. It is so traumatic that it sets him back where he's like a zombie, so with the Lord's grace and wisdom, we have to trust Him alone through so much!
I've gone through several trials that in the natural could point to death with lumps and large hard growths, etc., but as I pray the only direction is to trust Him. Also with infections, fatigues, all kinds of trials, the Lord would lift me up and strengthen me as I pray in His Spirit. The Lord has manifested my eyesight to be able to see to drive by giving me 20/20 vision where before I couldn't even see the car in front of me, and all the lights at night looked like big blurs.
I'm trusting for restoration of my teeth and gums which is hard to understand this trial. I really believed the Lord guided me to trust Him to take care of my mouth years ago, and I never felt the direction to go to the dentist. Many feel I'm crazy in this area, and sometimes I do too, but I still pray for wisdom and guidance, preservation and restoration.
Once I cut the tip of my finger off in a steel door and prayed for guidance after I first went to the church for prayer and anointing with oil. Two nurses were there praying for me and could even see the bone. The bleeding had stopped and I had no pain through the whole trial which was amazing to so many people. And the Lord had only born again Christians to work on my finger. I had no skin graft just some powder that grew back skin and I was able to grow my nail back!
Once I was so close to having a nervous breakdown! So close! My whole nervous system was so shot that my head and neck would draw forward as the muscles in my stomach would pull forth. You would only have to see it to understand what I mean. But I had two sisters pray with me to keep me from losing it, and the very next day all the symptoms left and they stayed gone!
I've walked through many trials of attack from the enemy trying to hinder me in my walk with terror, fear, depression, shame, uncleanness, etc., but at the same time the Lord poured out such a spirit of worship upon me that I can dance and bow down and just lose myself in His presence in intercession.
I know the Lord is faithful and all things work for the good. What the enemy has meant for harm in my life and family, God has and will turn for my good. I know He has been preparing me through the fire for over 25 years for what is ahead. I know our faith cannot be in insurance or medical science but in Him alone for there will come a day when we won't be able to use these things as a Christian. I have made many mistakes in my walk with the Lord, and I know He is even in control of all that working it for my good.
I encourage you to not be afraid of the fire and to embrace it. Open up and allow the Lord to do the deep work. Cry out for great grace and hold on with all your heart. For times are getting worse. The enemy is coming on stronger. And if not for the grace of God the elect would be deceived. Even then don't be afraid of being deceived, He will even deliver you of the deepest deceptions. Nothing is too hard for Him for He is the King of Glory and Lord of all lords.
Don't be afraid to look foolish in front of men trying to embrace all of Him that you possibly can. Go for the full package that He has for you. Deliverance is the children's bread, and He died to give us a full inheritance of all His promises. I pray that you prosper and be in health as your spirit soars in Him!
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