. . . . .GOD REACHED OUT
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Page 3 "Zarko's testimony"
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In those days, I felt bad pain in my bones at times. I did learn to appreciate the days that I was out of pain and I realized that the most important thing is one's health. I had gained some material things, which I loved before I became ill, but at that moment they meant nothing to me. Health was all I needed. I realized that the material things don't need to obsess us, because we may die any moment and nothing will keep its value, but only our spiritual condition.
Since all has been said, let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter:
Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man. For God shall bring every work into judgment, with every secret thing, whether it be good, or whether it be evil.
Ecclesiastes 12:13,14
When I had fears during those hard times, I realized that hell is when we don't have strong faith, and when the love or peace of God is lacking. If God would ever leave us, that would be the most terrible thing for us. When I looked at people who were without God, I saw them from God's point of view. They were alone in their lives, without Christ and no peace of God in their hearts. This is a really sad , sad picture.
After the fourth treatment I had a four week break, because I was nearly destroyed. During the fifth chemotherapy, I was in the same room and I learned that the man who brushed his teeth every morning, had died. The fifth chemotherapy was ugly, and I was given very strong medication for sleeping. I was drugged up and was sleeping for one week, after which I was in excruciating pain. The doctors did tests of my chest and the tumor was there, they thought that it was something else and decided to do surgery. That was bad, but for me it was better than chemotherapy.
The surgery was one more hell for me, a period with a lot of pain and agony. The tumor in my chest was almost 1 kg. I called it the beast in my chest. I was mad because of that tumor; I thought if that is some living thing, I will kill it with my own hands. The good thing was that the tumor was not attached to my lungs, thanks to God. If that would have been the case, the doctors would have to cut into my lungs. God had opened doors in the clinic for the best doctors to be present.
The worst thing was that they told me, that I had to have two more chemotherapy treatments. This brought me in deep depression, fear and anger. I had very bad experiences in my body and soul in the days after. On top of this all, I was informed that the young man who was in the hospital room with me, had died. I was very sad in all that pain and the very worse fell upon me like hell itself. Almost all patients in that room died.
I got those two chemo treatments, which was again and again hell for me. I experienced this as if someone put demons into my veins. The doctors had to stop in the middle of the treatment, because I had terrible pain and if they would have continued, bad things could have happened to me. So they stopped.
I got back home, only with pains and depressions. I thought, what about me living all the time with the same thing, like "MADNESS". After a few weeks I felt pain in my left hip and it seemed as if I was addicted to pain itself. Then I felt pain in my right hip too. That was a new pain. It was a destruction of my hips caused by the chemo treatments. I was angry with one doctor and I told him not to give me the second chemotherapy. But he said that I must take it. If I wouldn't get that last chemotherapy I would be good with my hips. That was a difficult period and everything that I loved was to stay in the house of God throughout my days and in the peace of God. So that I love nothing else but Him.
In those days, I saw who were really my friends. My ex girlfriend Mishela was with me and I'm thankful to her. I observed that through all bad things which God allows, something good will come from it, be it in this life or some benefit for our eternal life. With all the things happening in our lives, I came to understand that every plan we make in our minds will come to pass if God allows it. Even if I make plans, it may disappear in one moment. I realized that man will die one day and that he needs to be ready to leave everything of this world behind. I realized that the problem with most people is that they don't believe in death. We, as human beings, believe that death is far away from this moment of our lives. This is the blindness of all mankind.
Behold, thou hast made my days as an handbreadth; and mine age is as nothing before thee: verily every man at his best state is altogether vanity. Selah. Surely every man walketh in a vain show: surely they are disquieted in vain: he heapeth up riches, and knoweth not who shall gather them. And now, Lord, what wait I for? My hope is in Thee. Psalm 39:5-7
In 2001 my sorrows ended, THANKS TO THE LORD. I am totally healed from that ugly sickness. I was just bones, but I have since gained 30 kg. I am alive and I can write this. Once I was dying, but now I am alive. I have still problems with my hips but I don't know what God wants with that, maybe I am in some situation like Paul. But in that dark period of my life, my father became a Christian and the patients who died in my room have all repented from their sins and they received salvation, which is most important. People that I have met in the hospital have been saved. Praise God!
The reality is, that one day you and I will be in God's hands. We may face a lot of problems in this world. But if the whole world crashes down and my life is full with problems, I know that God is there and that He always has a plan for us. One day we will be free from all problems of this world.
If you face difficulties at this time, stay strong until the end, don't give up, for God will do the best for you. Look at this crazy world of sin , watch the news on TV, news of the new sins of this world , people kill, people hate, people are without shame, everything is done for money and man's glory, sick minds, sick religion, sick perversity, worldly modern Christianity etc.
NOTHING, NOTHING from this world of sin is pleasing God. Throw away this world. Just read the clean Word of our Lord Jesus and you will see that it makes the difference in this crazy world. Keep the way of Jesus; keep the simple faith, hope and LOVE. We will all die one day. Don't look for help from people, put your trust in God, because people are not perfect.
Keep your life free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said,
For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows. 1 Timothy 6:10
If you are in problems, always remember that there is light behind the dark period of your life. God is always there and He has always a plan.
I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee. Hebrews 13:5
I pray that the Lord will reveal the LESSON to your heart.
Blessings to you in Jesus name.
Your Brother Zarko.
dark_period@yahoo.com
www.geocities.com/dark_period2000/
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For yet a little while, and He that shall come will come, and will not tarry. Hebrews 10:37
Brother Zarko's testimony has been edited by Dr. Trudy Veerman.
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